Pardon Me, That’s My Armrest?

Codependency is a funny thing.  I was asked recently to define what it really meant.  I gave a meandering answer to that question.  Maybe this post will serve as a definition?

Flying is something I love.  It's something I love even though I experienced my first aborted landing from CAE to CLT, and I am currently experiencing smells on this flight that I didn't quite know were humanly possible.  You're not sure what an aborted landing is?  Well, it's when the plane descends towards the runway and JUST before touchdown the pilot hits full throttle, raises the landing gear and takes the plane around for one more try at a landing.  No need to check your calendar, it is not April Fools.   

Back to the point of this post:  Being in the middle seat while flying is not the most comfortable of experiences.  Flying can be uncomfortable enough, but sandwiching a 235 pound guy between two strangers offers ample opportunity for this 235 pound guy to climb into stranger's heads.  

One such opportunity to climb into other's heads is the fight over the armrests.  Airlines cover tons of information during the boarding process:  how to use a seatbelt, verbal confirmations for exit row seating (yes, I've heard one person answer "no" during that portion....didn't expect that one), and a plethora of other information.  But, to my surprise, airlines do cover armrest etiquette.  

There are some numbers I'd like to run through here before continuing: 

3 seats

4 armrests

3 people 

6 arms (usually, but not always)

So who gets the armrests?  It's not so simple.  It can be. But let me make this difficult too.  

Here's one way to look at it:  I'm in the middle seat.  Throw me a bone, guys and give me me the middle two armrests.  I mean, aren't I suffering enough being sandwiched between y'all?  (Maybe one day I'll post more on my propensity to be a victim.)

This brings me to another point/question:  What is the appropriate amount of touching on a flight?  Don't act like you don't know what I'm referring to.  Are my knees allowed to rest on another person's knees?  How about elbows touching elbows?  Or, here's a fun one, can a stranger's elbow rest on my right love handle? (Nope.  Not making that one up.  Wish I was.  But, I'm not.)

Am I the only that thinks about stuff like this?  I can't be.  I guess it doesn't matter if I am the only one that thinks about things like this or not. The important thing is to note that the whole time I've been typing this my elbows have been OFF  the middle two armrests.  I mean, these guys probably need the armrests more than me, right?   (Oh and maybe I can post more about being a martyr....not that I would know anything about that 🤔)  

Maybe next time I get on a flight I could just open up a dialog with my fellow seatmates.  Maybe it's time to bring some social awareness to this issue. Feel free to jump in and let's get people talk. 

#ArmrestsForAll

A Slight Departure

This post is a slight departure from the typical travel-oriented posts on this blog.  And yes, the use of the word departure is appropriate and also an intended pun.  Puns, are fun.  I also love the word "pun."  There are few words in the English language as fun as the word pun.  Three letters of fun are contained in the word pun.  Ok that's enough of pun.  Pun.  Ok now I'm done.

I'm wearing a pink shirt today.  I wear it every few weeks.  I'm also wearing bright shoes that contain the color pink as well.  Why am I wearing this today, you ask, oh fictitious reader?  Because I wanted to.  I wanted to wear bring colors for no other reason than I wanted to.  I give you that information for some context on what I'm about to type, or what I think I will type, because honestly I have no idea what I'm going to type.  I mean seriously, the previous sentence I just typed:  I had no idea I would type that or that I would use the word "type" as many times as I have in this post.  The same would also be said about the word "pun."  Lots of digressions so far in the post.  Let me get back to the task at hand and the reason I'm typing this.  There's that word again.  No judgment.  Just noticing it.

I walked into grab my second cup of coffee like I normally do here at work in the same place that I do that on most days.  A lady that has worked her for a few years looked up at me as I entered and said, "You just....just look bright."  Wearing what I'm wearing today I just assumed she meant that in regards to what I was wearing.  But she went on.  "You just seem bright.  You know how people get when they have a new girlfriend or a new boyfriend.  You just seem bright."

I simply replied, "Thank you."  The urge existed in me to deflect or make some joke to not take ownership and accept what she was saying.  And I'm glad I decided to accept it.  Because she's right.  I do feel bright.  I feel peaceful.  I feel joy.  I am simply feeling....lots of things lately.  And it's freaking awesome.

Oh, and no.  I don't have a girlfriend. 

The reality is that over the past few years I've been on a journey of self-discovery and connection with myself, others and my Higher Power.  And it's been just that:  a journey.  Ups.  Downs.  Highs.  Lows.  Diversions.  Detours.  Times of focus.  Times of cloudiness.  Times of clarity.  Challenges.  Ease.  Love.  Acceptance. Judgment.  Hurt.  Pain.  And more love.  It's been incredible.  I wouldn't have had it any other way.  I can truly say I'm thankful for the twists and turns of my life and I'm happy and thankful to be where I am today.

This past weekend I spent time with 22 other men in a workshop surrounding masculinity and what it means to truly be masculine.  I'll spare you the details of the workshop and the inner mechanics and workings of it, but I'll say this:  It was incredibly loving, challenging, painful, and enlightening.

We talked about the greatest gift of the masculine as being presence.  Truly being present with the feminine and really everyone.  I hear that and I hear acceptance...letting others be themselves.  Letting them be happy, sad, hurt, glad, in pain, loving.  I can let other people just be other people.  I don't have to control them nor fix them.  That's not my job.  And truthfully, I can see how often I try to fix others.  For some reason I think I know exactly what other people need to be doing in their lives and the choices they need to be making.  Thankfully, I'm able to see that, and now I have the choice and the chance to let go of that.  What freedom there is in knowing that others have the chance to live their own lives.

We also talked about principles and living life from a principled place. I've heard that kind of verbiage over the years and, truthfully, had a hard time making the connection of what it really meant.  Michael was able to explain it in such a way that I was finally able to grasp it.

Principles protect me.  They protect my spirit.  They protect my mission and my vision.  I get the chance to select the principles that I want to live by, define them and then put an action in place to practice the principle.  For example:

• Honesty....Being honest with myself and others......Therefore I will always tell the truth.
• Ownership....Seeing my part in the pain, anger, joy, failure, success, etc.....Therefore everyday I was spend time by myself writing out a 10th step (as 12 step culture would call it) answering questions to help me see my part in things.

What practical information!  By practicing these principles, I am protecting me.  I'm showing myself that I can be trusted.  By not practicing these principles, I'm reinforcing that deep belief that I can't be trusted, that I'm not good enough, that I'm not worthy.  

One of the other top plate ideas I received out of this weekend is the concept of surrender.  Up until now I had defined surrender as "well, I gotta NOT do THAT," or "I gotta give that up."  Surrender though, as explained this weekend, is giving up something to gain something better.  I've seen that in such a real way in my food.  It's not that I can't eat fast food or processed food, but I've largely surrendered that type of food for the better foods (organic, clean, real) that really help me feel better!  What a great definition of surrender that I can apply to my whole life.  

Anger....I get to surrender the anger and resentment that I'm tempted to hang on to.  I get to surrender it for the acceptance that people are going to be people, they are not going to act the way I think (and judge) they should act, they are going to look out for themselves first, they are not going to be perfect, and on and on and on.  I can ACCEPT and LOVE them for who they are!  I can turn them loose from the resentment I hold and FORGIVE them.  I can realize that they were doing the best they could.  What interesting concepts. ;)

Interesting post for me.  There's more I learned, and those are the top few that I wanted to remember.  The truth is:  I do feel better.  I love this interior work.  I want to keep pursuing it with my eyes open and without judgment.  What a gift I get to give to myself too:  acceptance.  Just noticing what I'm up and not judging the heck out of myself for the things I do.  The judgment leads to the shame and the shame is what keeps me stuck.  I'm not interested in being stuck anymore.  I'm interested in adventure.  And that adventure can be found in my daily life here.  Oh, and it can also be found by jumping on a plane.

Until then, I wish you love, peace and authenticity.

Typical Cavalier

I aim to please.  That’s no secret for those that know me.  That’s why I bring this blog to the world.  

I think I just heard your eyes roll.  

I jest of course about the reasoning behind this blog.  For those that are new to RoseOverExposed.Blogspot.com, I’d like to share a few things with you:

1.  Welcome - No matter how you found this and no matter how bored you must be to be reading this right now, welcome. 

2.  This blog was created back in 2009 as a way for me to remember what I do when I travel.  You may be surprised at a couple of things:  A. How bad my memory really is.  B.  I refer to this blog often to remember the things I’ve done over my life.  C. Yes.  My memory really is that poor.  

Pleasing others seems to be very firmly engrained in my being.  And I like that.  However, I am aware that sometimes my desire to please others gets in the way of me doing things that I actually want to do and it also hinders me taking care of myself.  There’s a balance there, isn’t it?

Also, what is balance?

I’ve written about balance in the past and how elusive it can be for me. (Side note:  like always, I’m only speaking from my own experience hence the reason you will see me use “I” language a lot.  Feel free to take what you like and leave the rest from what you see.). Sometimes I’m going to be in balance taking care of others, their needs as well as my own.  Other times I’ll be out of balance.  Sometimes I’m going to come off selfish.   And it’s all ok.  It’s not my intent to be selfish.  Life is messy as I’m discovering.  People’s perceptions, as well as my own, are colored by many factors.  

And that’s where I get hung up:  When I default to the “keep everyone happy” mentality, I go through life attempting to guess what those around me and even those not around think I should do.  Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?  Correct, it’s not. 

But when I can show up and be clear about who I am, who I want to be, what I’m willing to do and what I’m not willing to do, then life is a lot simpler.  It’s not easy of course, but when I remember that I’m the one that gets to vote on what I’m going to do, it sure does make things a lot simpler and cleaner.  

And sometimes I’m in that mode.  Others I’m not.  Thank goodness for awareness.  How do I become aware?  

1.  Meditation has been a real help for me lately.  Insight Timer is an app that has some really cool, and free, guided mediations.  It’s really amazing how much better I feel physically after doing a mediation ESPECIALLY if I can do it without judging my experience as good or bad or whatever. 

2.  Writing ALWAYS helps me.  Even if I write a couple of sentences.   Even writing like I am now on this plane is helpful.  Now, I’m aware that what I’m writing now is public and will be read by countless people (yeah, you’re right, it’s probably closer to 8 people) so I hold back a bit, even though I’ve gotten a little bolder.  But when I write for just me, it’s raw, open and super honest.  And guess what?  It feels good.  And let me be clear, I write openly about my fears which, if I judge them, can be really silly.  But when I write, I just write.  I get things out.  I’m very thankful for writing.  

3.  Others speaking truth into my life. This one is tough for me.  For a guy like me that spends so much time trying to make others think I’m doing ok (a trait I’m not proud of), it’s tough to hear someone say something like, “that’s why you don’t get what you want because you don’t go after.”   But you know what, that statement a few months ago was what I needed to hear.  

The judgement piece is key for me.  I walk around most days perceiving judgment from others which, spoiler alert, is me projecting the judgments I have about myself onto others.  That’s why the self acceptance and self love piece is so key for me.  Admittedly, it’s a struggle for me.  There’s still something VERY loud in me saying things like:

You should have done more

You should have know that

What a freeing stance it is for me when I’m just simply ok with who I am and with the thoughts I’m having.  

Connection is key for me too.  Connection with others.  And with myself.   I heard a couple of sessions this weekend that talked about the importance of connection and how research is showing that connection is more key to the survival of a human than food, water and shelter.  That’s interesting to me as I think about how “connected” I am digitally and yet often I feel lonely.  And you know what?  Loneliness is just a feeling.  I can feel it, acknowledging its presence and keep moving.  I don’t have to judge the heck out of it.  I CAN judge it if I want to.  Those are the rough days when I do that.  It creates a shame cycle, or as Mark Manson calls it “the feedback loop from hell.”  Might be worth the Google. 

Connection. True connection. What a beautiful thing.  I’ve experienced a lot of that in my life.  Most people have.  I experienced more of it this weekend.  What a better place than the Final Four to be reminded of that?  What another incredible weekend it was with BC, Billy and Dards and all of the people I met and reconnected with along the way.  Thank you guys for providing another weekend of fun and memories. #TypicalCavalier  (clearly that’s an inside joke. Want to be apart of future inside jokes?  We’ll see you in Atlanta in 2020).  Being able to hang around this crew at least once per year is a true highlight in my life. Thank you guys for your love and acceptance over the years.

And wow.  What a treat to see Jarrell Brantley play in the Reese’s All Star Game AND watch him and his squad with the National 3 on 3 Championship.  What a great and loving kid, that oh yeah can really play ball.  

A couple of shoutouts:

• Thanks Justin Rose for the recommendation of using Rover.  Emily has been a rock star for shorter trips like these.  Pictured are my two pups.....Toby and Ellie
• Bill Walden....you were a hoot at the Virginia Athletic Foundation event we got into.  Feel free to ask how we got into this event Friday night.  Fun times.  #GoHoos
• The girl that pointed us in the direction of the Jimmy Johns for dinner one evening.  
• The guy that sat completely still while being approached by a man that was clearly out of his mind on the Light Rail.  How he didn't budge was incredible in the face of what he was going through in that moment.
• Dr. Eddie and Dr. Niemann - Great content in the NABC clinics about the mental side of sports and life.  I loved that they brought a discussion of real feelings and emotional/mental well-being to the Final Four.

Travel Hack #1

Travel Hack #1:

No time or money for an always exquisite airport massage?  Simply get scanned at security and have some hot spots show up around your legs and other areas.  That way you can get “patted down” by a pleasant TSA agent.  He didn’t like that I told him my hamstrings were still a little tight after he was done.  I don’t think I’m going to get my money back either.  

And question:  Who is flying and purchasing avocados?  I’m no expert, but when I eat avocados I use a knife to cut them open.  

And last time I checked, bringing a knife through security results in a more lengthy “massage.”

I would love your thoughts on this.  

🥑 🔪 💆🏻‍♂️

Obligatory Indianapolis Airport Pics

I can’t fly through IND and not take pictures.  It’s a truly beautiful airport.  

Also included are pictures from the Carmel at Lawrence North game Thursday night, Hulman Arena after lights out, and Brett’s basement which is an incredible spot to hang out in. 

That Time I Thought The Sign Was Broken

Last year when I flew into Indy I noticed that the "I" was missing in this sign. I said to myself, "that's strange. Indy has it together as a city. So that baffles me that the would leave the "I" missing for all the see in the airport."

When I landed this weekend, I wanted to see if the "I" had reappeared. I found that the "I" is still missing. And even better, for me as the bumbling tourist that I am, I realized that the "I" is SUPPOSED to be missing. It's s photo op. You're supposed to stand and be the "I" in the sign.

Oops.

Three Dog Night

I'm really not sure where to begin this post about my latest trip to Terre Haute, IN.  I guess I'll start with some feelings I have experienced today:

Gratitude - an extreme amount

Wholeness 

Fear

Sadness

Joy

Peace 

I can't thank the folks of Terre Haute and of Indiana State enough for allowing me the access I've had the last few days.  Indiana has always had a special place in my heart because of my many trips here, the people I've met, the friends I've made and the experiences I've had.  Every time I come here (and I really mean every time) I am blown away by the people, and this trip was no different.  I met more people and made more friends than any trip I've ever taken.  I can't thank each and everyone enough for accepting me and helping me to feel welcome over the past four days.  

The experiences I had were nothing short of incredible.  Here's a rundown:

1.  I got to see my first Indiana high school game Thursday night (Carmel at Lawrence North)

2.  I got to deal with some work challenges Friday morning from a distance and was reminded of how thankful I am for the job I have and the admin team as well as the coaches I get to work with. 

3.  I got to spend time around the Indiana State Athletics Offices Friday morning.  I can't explain in words how special everyone is that I've gotten to meet over the last two years.  More to come on this crew later. 

4.  I got to watch ISU Men's Basketball practice and sit in on their film sessions.  For a guy that loves the inner workings of basketball programs and athletics programs at large, I was in absolute heaven.  

5.  I got to spend time with boosters and friends of the ISU Athletic Dept. on multiple occasions and got treated as one of the guys the entire weekend.  I'd be hard pressed to find a more welcoming, fun loving and honest group of folks.   Picture Cheers, only in real life.  What a great crew.  

6.  I got to see ISU play in Saturday's afternoon.  Unfortunately the score didn't end in the Sycamores favor vs. Drake.  Winning games at that level is hard.....incredibly hard.  Coach Greg Lansing and his staff absolutely work their tails off.  I've been around high level programs, coaches and players and I'm telling you that this staff "gets it" and does things the right way.  Seeing the inner workings of film sessions, practices, etc. shows me that ISU has the right group in place.  More on these guys later.  

7.  I got to have real, authentic, open, honest and vulnerable conversation all throughout the weekend.  I can't tell you how much I enjoy conversations such as these. 

I want to talk more about the people I spent time with this weekend. 

Brett Carey is one of the all time great guys in this world.  Literally.  No seriously.  I've had the great pleasure of knowing him for close to 15 years.  I made the decision years ago to go visit him at least once per year to watch his teams play.  He allows me access to his life in a way that I couldn't be more appreciative of.  BC and I can share openly about what's really going on in daily life.  I never experience judgement and always trust him to be honest with me.  He's also a blast to be around.  Brett has never met a stranger and has an uncanny ability to be serious, funny, joking and flat out fun all at the same time.  He has a real gift with people and is one of the most genuine people I've ever known.  AND he's a heck of a basketball coach.  He has played and coached at a high level and coached and recruited NBA players.  Yes, and his two coaching stops have been UNC Asheville and ISU.  So, yes, he's an incredible recruiter.  And he's an incredible recruiter, in my opinion, because of his ability to connect with people.  There are no walls with BC.  I'm extraordinarily proud and thankful to call him a dear friend.  

Greg Towne is the Women's Golf Coach at Indiana State University.  I met Greg last year during my first trip to Terre Haute last year.  Upon meeting him, he immediately asked what books I was reading, what I did to develop my coaches and asked me tons of very pointed questions.  I loved every minute of it.  Over the past year I have read many of the books he recommended so I was READY to sit with Greg this time around.  I am thankful to have spent time with him on Friday at different points in time  throughout the day to catch up and bounce ideas off of each other.  I am a better and more complete person because of my interactions and knowing Greg Towne.  And talking with his wife Vickie again was a hoot.  She has an extreme amount of personality and is one fun woman to be around.  More to come on that and the choice of title later. 

Greg Lansing is the Men's Basketball Coach at Indiana State University.  Coach Lansing has always welcomed me with open arms around his program and I can't thank him enough for this.  It's an absolute pleasure to watch him work, lead his program and prepare his guys for games.  Coach is an extremely caring, thoughtful and attentive person AND is an incredibly high level thinker when it comes to basketball, motivation and life.  I appreciate his willingness to talk with me and allow me to bounce things off of him and just think out loud about kids and the way they play the game.  His wife, Kristi, welcomed me like I was a Terre Haute local on Saturday.  I had a blast meeting and hanging out with more ISU fans and experiencing game day build up with them.  What a blast.  

Julie Hanley is the Indiana State Women's Soccer Coach.  I got to see Julie on Friday around the offices and watch her interact with Brett and quickly noticed a vibrancy that I know makes her an awesome head coach (which if you're wondering my expectations for head coaches:  1.  Work to be over qualified in your sport.  2.  Build relationships with kids   3.  Be tight with logistics.  4.  Give great effort with every kid, every practice, every workout, every game.  5.  Be mission and vision focused......and yes.  Julie checks all of these boxes in a big way).  Julie has been around high level all of her life playing at Kansas and coaching at several schools including Iowa.  Her energy is completely contagious.  She is always looking for ways to improve herself, a quality that I both admire and respect.  She is also one of the most quick-witted women I have ever been around.  I fully enjoyed my time around Julie this weekend.  

James Schmeits is the Director of Operations for Men's Basketball at Indiana State.  James is a classic College Basketball Guy.  Let me see if I can explain:  He is funny.  Warm.  Welcoming. Loves hoops.  Would do anything to help the program.  Cares deeply about the growth of his guys and the program.  AND he is the most incredible multitasker I've flat out ever seen.  Sitting courtside with him at practice Friday I got to see him juggle up to four things at a time while being engaged with practice.  It's a talent that truly has to be seen to be believed.  James is so chill with me and I can't thank him enough for welcoming me like he has over the past two years.  

Marcus Belcher and Terry Porter are the other two assistants with Indiana State Men's Basketball. One would be hard pressed to find a harder working pair of guys that know the game AND teach the game which (I absolutely love).  Being in on the film sessions this weekend gave me an even deeper appreciate for TP as this was his scout.  The scouting report put the reports I used to put together to shame.  Saying it was in depth would be an extreme understatement.  Marcus brings a calm presence to the staff and an extremely sharp basketball mind as well.  Both of these guys have, shocker alert, welcomed me with open arms over the years as well and I can't thank them enough for that.  

Sherard Clinkscales is the Athletic Director at Indiana State University.  How cool is it that Perry Parks and Sherard Clinkscales are related?  What a small world we live in and what a cool connection to the ISU Athletic Department I have.   Sherard runs a massive department with a level of professionalism that I rarely see.  He is focused, attentive and knows what he wants.  He has welcomed me warmly each time I've seen him over the years and is always gracious with his time and is honest with me when he can't spend time with me which I greatly respect.  He is a leader that I look up and admire.  I look forward to seeing him again soon. 

The Happy Hour Crew.  No real explanation here needed other than this a group of guys that get together everyday after work to talk life and hoops.  Yes. Everyday after work.  The big challenge for them now is that Copper is closing effective today so they'll need to find a new spot.  It was a hoot listening to them list the pros and cons of their choices around Terre Haute for their new landing spot.  These guys are first class and first rate all the way around.  They are extremely open, honest and FUNNY.  I'm thankful to have spent time with this selfless and giving group this weekend and look forward to joining them again soon.  

I titled this post Three Dog Night because, to me, Friday night at Bohanan's really sums up the people and experiences I've encountered during my two treks to Terre Haute, IN.  Friday night several folks mentioned above met up at Bohanan's to hang out. Bohanan's is not fancy.  It's a bar and grill.  Plain and simple.  It has tables, chairs and a jukebox. Friday night it also had Kyle, one of the funniest and easily the most attentive bartender I've ever seen.  What transpired Friday night, for me, was magical and yet, as I'm finding, just normal life in Terre Haute.  Friday night brought together a group of coaches, their families, fans, boosters and community members alike to enjoy each other and laugh with each other for hours.  It's just what happens in Terre Haute.  Just a loving, accepting, fun, caring, encouraging and incredible group of people doing life together in the Midwest.  Friday night also brought three dogs to Bohanan's because, you know, why not? Why not have three dogs join the group having a good time Friday night?  

Terre Haute, thank you.  Thank you for truly one of the most incredible weekends and experiences of my life.  

I'll be back soon. 

And if you made it this far, thank you too.  Writing is something that helps me process what's going on in my life and in my head and heart.  Writing this post has been nice.  It's been a challenge.  And if you're new here, the point of these posts are for me to remember my travels.  My memory really is not that great.  I also don't care about grammar. Which is why I have sentences like this:  

Writing helps me.   Writing locks in memories and feelings.  The good and the bad.  Even though I believe feelings aren't good or bad. 

Having my memories here also helps me remember all of the amazing experiences I've had over the years and the people I've met.  

That's my big takeaway from this trip.  It's the people that make the difference. Where ever I am.  It's the people.  I love being around people.  That's become apparent again after this trip.  I love connecting with people.  Talking with them. Laughing with them.  Finding out what makes them tick.  

I've been open about my beliefs about myself.  My default position about me is that I'm not good enough. Or I don't measure up.  Or that I'm not perfect.  And if I'm not perfect or don't perform well enough then you won't like me.  And I believe that if you don't like me then I'm not enough.  See the circle?

I'm thankful to have tools, like writing and other things that I've discovered over the years, that help me remember that the above paragraph is extremely distorted and erroneous thinking.  I'm thankful that I have the power to change the script in my head.  The script of things that I say about myself to myself.  I am amazed that when I show up believing that I belong, that I matter, and that I truly do have a place in this world then I have amazing experiences like I had this weekend.  The truth is: I can do that wherever I go if I show up and be me.  I'm thankful to have shown up in Terre Haute this weekend. 

The Purple Pig and Labyrinth

A couple of quick notes about today:

I stopped at The Purple Pig after getting that suggestion from a friend of mine.  It’s right off Michigan Ave which seems to be in the heart of the shopping area and wow it didn’t disappoint.  The service was incredible (thank you for a great lunch, Ryan) and the food was stunning.  I got a fried deviled egg and pork shoulder.  Both were succulent (and yes, I needed to wait on iPhone’s autocomplete to kick in for that one).  

Before lunch and after Tilt at The John Hancock Building, I stepped in a church (4th Presbyterian Church to be exact) to take a look around like I like to do and was pleasantly surprised to find that they have a labyrinth. (Again.  Thank you autocomplete). I love walking labyrinths.  I have gotten into them within the last couple of years.  Walking it today provided some nice peace, quiet, feeling of feelings and a great time of connection. 

I’m Glad I Waited

During my time here in Chicago (which, by the way, feels like more like a week than 3 days....and that’s a good thing) I have been wanting to write about my Uber/Lyft drivers.  All four of them that I engaged in conversation were absolutely some of the most pleasant and genuine people I’ve talked to in a long time. But, maybe, just maybe people are just amazing if I’m actually looking for the good. 

Let me tell you about them:

Opening night it was Roberto picking me up from ORD.  Originally from Ecuador, this gentle man (yes, I separated them for a reason because he was very unique in my experience with his ability to speak in a calm, gentle manner about real things) explained his experience with learning to enjoy more time for himself.  I related a lot to him sharing about working all the time and missing out on things at home.  He also shared about his family back home and how it differs a lot from his wife’s side of the family.  She’s American and Roberto has a hard time understanding how little she sees her family. Back home for him, his family does everything together and many of them even live together.  I related a lot to that too.

This morning it was Nestor.  I didn’t catch where he was from but he was so excited to explain to me the different parts of Chicago and the things I needed to see.

This afternoon it was Alexander who is a born and bred Chicagoan.  What a great guy.  We shared travel stories and he told me about his neighborhood and the gentrification that was occurring.  Taxes in his area are now north of $10,000 per year.  Incredible.

And then, also this afternoon, was my ride with Aleksandra.  As I sit in O’Hare International Airport I’m in awe of the experiences I get to have.  For 50 minutes in the car with her I was transported to another world.  Aleksandra explained her journey from growing up in Serbia, to playing professional basketball, to coming to school in the states and then her work to become a citizen of the US.  She has been working on the process for a few years now.  It honestly sounds like a real headache and kudos to her for continuing the process and doing things the right way.  She explained that Chicago has a huge Serbian population so she has a home away from home.  We shared stories about European travel and the differences between the States and Europe.

I felt transported in that car because I felt like I was in Europe.  I absolutely had a blast talking with her about basketball and life in general.  It even turns out Tarence Kinsey plays for the team she used to play for (the women’s team of course) in Serbia.  What a small world.  But my point is, I could have ridden around Chicago with her for hours just talking.

I love talking.  Wait. I love conversations.  I’m learning that I like talking too. But I love interacting with people and listening to the things they share.  Listening to Aleksandra was such a pleasure for me.  I felt at ease.  I felt like I was having a conversation with a chill European.  And I was.

I told her at the end of the ride that I’m coming back to Chicago and I didn’t want to break any Uber rules, but I explained to her I’d love to hang out when I got back up here.  And, for those of you keeping score at home, no this is not a romantic type interest of hanging out.  This is pure and simple human connection at its finest.  That’s what I love.

And here’s the reality, I may never see Aleksandra again.  I hope I do.  But if I don’t, I can rest and be thankful that I met and interacted with another incredible human, one that is perfectly fine being herself and experiencing life.  That’s the lesson I’m taking from this ride:  I’m fine just the way I am. I don’t have to pretend to be anything.  I can sit in ORD, with my legs crossed, typing a blog post on my phone, and typing said blog post into an archaic website interface.....and that’s all just fine.

Chicago,

Thank you for an amazing three days.

Here’s to more today and in the future, both here and wherever I am.

Brian

(I would like to point out that I rarely take selfies.  This selfie signifies for me that I’m perfectly ok with me at the moment)

Tilt-a-Whirl

First stop this morning was the John Hancock building downtown.   This building houses Chicago 360 which is one of the two major overlooks in the city.  It also boasts the “Tilt” experience which is exactly what it sounds like.  Ticket holders get tilted on a 30 degree angle out the side of the building and get to look down on the city.  And by “ticket holders,” I mean me.  This experience was absolutely exhilarating.  I knew the apparatus wasn’t going to fail.  But then, there’s still a part of my mind saying, “Yep.  It’s going to fail.”   But, fail it didn’t.  The top picture is from the ground showing the glass tilting out and looking down.  It’s an $8 add on to the $22 ticket to get to the top, but I recommend it.  

The ride up and the experience at the top is not quite as impressive as Top of the Rock or The Empire State Building, but it’s srill good.  The views are very nice.  

Now that I think about it, the experiences between the NYC overlooks and today’s overlook of Chicago fits with my experience of both cities.  I really like both cities, and there’s just something different about Chicago.  It’s a BIG city.  And it doesn’t feel like life is moving at break-neck speeds. The pace is differed.  Slower.  Calmer.  And I like that.  I’ll be interested to see if time here in the summer is the same or if more people will be out hustling.  

The “Caution Falling Ice” sign cracked me up.  Was this sign suggesting that I look up to avoid falling ice?  Do I really want to be looking up risking my eye being hit by falling ice?  Should I have worn a helmet?  And really....think about it:  If I did look up and see ice falling, how difficult would it be to avoid being hit?  I can only imagine that ice wouldn’t fall in a straight line especially in a city nicknamed “The Windy City.”  Just something for my readers to think about.  I know.  I know no one reads these. 

College Hoops

There’s nothing quite like watching college basketball for me.  And even though the game didn’t go the Sycamores way tonight, this is a talented group that will learn and grow from tonight’s game.  

Thanks to Brett for allowing me to come up this week to Chicago.  And thanks to Coach Lansing and the rest of the Indiana State staff for making me feel so welcome.  This is a first-class group that I am extremely thankful to know.  You can pull for ISU knowing that they do things the right way and are fantastic people.  

About Chi Town

A couple of things right off the bat (pun intended):
I like Chicago. 
I want to visit Chicago when it’s warmer. 
I want to see a Cubs game.  
I want to take a river tour.  
I want to walk around the city when I can feel my fingers, face and toes.  
The Cloud Gate (or Bean as locals have referred to as) is quite cool.  Pictures don’t do it justice. 

After breakfast this morning I ventured out into the city and began my journey at the L Station near Loyola-Chicago’s campus.  Rose, the CTA attendant on duty, was extremely helpful to me helping me navigate the different ticket options.  Once I finally got on a train (after mistakenly thinking the first train was not the one I needed to be on thusly putting my fingers and toes in a frozen state) I made my first stop at Addison Station which is right near Wrigley Field.   What a cool setting for a baseball stadium.  RIGHT in the middle of the neighborhood.  Seeing bleachers on top of buildings across the street was a real hoot.  I need to see a game there.  

The river area as well as Millenium Park are really cool.  Tons of people were at the park.  I can only imagine the setting and energy if it was warmer.  Oh, it was a high of 33 today I believe.  

The Cloud Gate is a must see.  I believe it’s 168 pieces of metal welded together but it looks like one solid, smooth piece.  

The energy in Chicago is a little different than I thought.  No one seems really to be in too much of a hurry.  It’s kind of chill to be honest.  I was expecting a little more hustle and bustle like NYC. 

Oh, and thank goodness for Argo Tea.  

It’s about game time here at the Gentile Center!

More to come later