It’s Not the Place

You're here because you followed a link to my blog. Thanks for being here. This is a travel blog. Sort of. 

I use this blog to remember the things that I do when I travel. I also use it to share some things that I've learned or have learned throughout the years and over my travels in hopes you might find it useful, feel a little less alone, more connected to yourself and the world around you, and more.

Currently I'm sitting at LGA in terminal D awaiting my flight back to CLT.  Before I go any further, I'd encourage you to check out Clear. For years I've been in love with TSA Precheck, and while I'm not breaking up with it, I have found that Clear is TSA Pre on steroids.  In a fairly busy airport like LGA, there were around 30 people in the TSA Pre line this morning,  Not bad by any means.  But, there was 1 person ahead of me at the Clear line.  I scanned my eyes, yes, my eyes.  Waited about 90 seconds and walked right to a metal detector.  Correct, I didn't have to talk to the TSA agent (who seemed lovely, by the way).  Just a plug for a company out there doing nice things for people for $179 per year.  That's all. And, no, Clear isn't paying me.

I love travel. I think you know that. I say it often. Among other things, travel allows me the space to detach from my day to day life and experience something different. My world view is always expanded no matter where I visit. 

I experienced a lot of "different" this weekend from family gatherings, time with an old friend, comedy shows, a Ryan Adams show at Carnegie Hall, breakfast and a walk with an old friend this morning, and a phone conversation with a another old friend this morning. 

All of the above were great experiences for me. But it was breakfast this morning, the walk after it and the phone conversation back at the hotel that had me really going into inquiry. 

Inquiry is a powerful place for me to be. It's a space between knowing (or what I think I know) and decisions or doing. At least that's what inquiry feels like this morning. 

My friend is traveling the world, back and forth between NYC and a variety of places around Europe.  All of that sounds great.  I'm not here to write about "what I need to be doing with my life."  No.  I'm here to write about my experience of the life I have.  Of the life I'm creating.  And to think about the life I want to create moving forward.  

I wrote some this morning after breakfast and the phone conversation.  Here is what I wrote:

"What is the question I'm trying to answer?  

Is it:

What is waiting to be expressed through me in the world?

What will make me happy?

What will others be impressed with?

What can I get out of this life?

What can I accomplish in this life?

Who can I serve in this life?

How can I make the world a better place?

Who can I love while I'm here?"

All of these are big questions. As I look at them now, I believe that they are all connected in some ways.  

(I make no judgment on which question I'm trying to answer or the question you are trying to answer.  I'm simply just pondering. Inquiring.)

Often I'm going through life trying to answer the "what can I accomplish/what can I get out of life/what will make ME happy/what will others be impressed with" questions. I got into education trying to answer the "who can I serve/how can I make the world a better place" questions.  

Now, I'm trying to move toward answering the "who can I love (not romantic love)/what is waiting to be expressed in the world through me" as well as the "who can I serve/how can I make the world a better place" questions.  Those questions coupled together would make for quite an experience of life. 

"Trying" is the word I'm wanting to pay attention to. Another question for me: "when did I start to play the gimme, gimme, gimme game?" My worst days are the days in which I feel underappreciated, unloved, unacceptable, etc. I walk around wanting others to tell me I'm ok and doing a good job. Now listen, I get it.  I know people do that. But what I'm striving for is to be able to give that to myself more. Still a challenge. 

Ultimately my default, often, is to give more credence to what you think rather than to what I think.  It takes practice for me to be me. 

And that's all I'm trying to do.  Be me.  Being me can change the world.  Not in a, "Hey, look at what I'm doing over here y'all!  I'm changing the world.  You're welcome," kind of way.  Just me, being me, is what the world needs. 

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

― Howard Thurman

Never Gets Old

I know. I've said it before.  Also, I know I've said it before.  (Interesting how much a period changes things)

Travel. Flying. Getting out of town. Seeing different things. Being in a different area.  Being around different people. All of things about travel:  it never gets old. Or at least up to this point of my life, it hasn't gotten old. 

I also enjoy writing. I haven't done it much lately.  Maybe I am running from something. In this case my "maybe" is a "yes." I'm trying to let that be ok.  Not really succeeding at being easy on myself. 

I've learned recently how much I expect me to:

Get it right every time

Always know how to do something 

Be perfect 

I also have a real fear of being wrong. 

Nice little mixture, right?  ;)

Forward. 

Delta Over Everyone

Bold.  Yes.  I know.  Also bold of me not to say hello after a long writing layoff.  However:  Delta, thank you.  Thank you for communicating. And communicating more. There are some other airlines that are on my last nerve.  And, yeah.  I get it.  These are all happy problems.  So, with that being said:  Delta.  Yes.  Thank you. 

100 Pages

 Yes. I’m typing this out on my phone.  (I’ll explain why I point that out in a few moments.)

I just read over 100 pages in a book.  This is a book that I started a few months ago.  It’s a book called What Drives Winning by Brett Ledbetter.  His stuff was recommended by a podcast guest we had a few months back (Chris Mongilia).  After watching some videos by Brett I was hooked on what he had to say about sport and life.  He sees the world of sport, competition, winning and more in much the same way I do.  

So, I started his book.  And I liked it. 

Then I stopped reading his book.  It sat for months on my coffee table. 

Before I left for this trip to NY/NJ (this is a travel blog….sort of), I packed the book.  

I started reading the book on the way out here.  Then I stopped.  I told myself, “See?  This is what you do.  You start things and don’t finish them.”  Sounds like a kind thing to say right?

But it’s often true.  What I then did was went to guilt and shame.  Those are fun emotions.  Lump in some judgment and then I’m really cooking. When I’m there, I’m stuck.  And when I get stuck, guess what:  I have more evidence that I don’t finish what I start, and so the carousel of my own creation continues.  And make no mistake, I’m the creator of all of it.  

Before I left La Guardia I picked the book back up out of my backpack.  I had about 45 minutes before my flight boarded so I started reading. I was hooked again.  I was seeing things that were inspiring to me.  Synapses were firing in my brain that felt good.  I was learning. I was reading.  I was connecting with material.  And I know that about myself:  when I’m reading I feel good.  I feel empowered.  I feel like I can do anything.  

But what do I often do?

I pick up my phone.  I check my email.  I check Twitter.  I may even check the news.  And to be honest:  I get sucked in.  Yes, there is plenty of information out there that has proven how addicting it can be to pick up the phone.  

It’s really as if books have no shot when it comes to competing for my attention.  But why is that?  

When I read, I feel great.  I feel accomplished.  I learn.  

When I zone out with my phone, I feel lethargic.  I feel soft.  

Where’s the balance?  I have a job.  I live in a connected world.  I have to check my email.  I have to check social media.  Right?

I think the answer is yes.  But what I just re-learned is that it really comes down to parenting myself.  Telling that part of me that just wants to zone out on my phone, “Hey, I hear you.  How about read for an hour and then you can look at your phone if you want?”  Not always easy for me to do, but I think that’s where the freedom is.  

Because, let’s be honest, my phone and even social media can be a GREAT thing.  It can provide connection to the world that I love, ESPECIALLY when I travel.  And yes, it has allowed to compose this post.  

What I’m seeing for myself in the near future:  a more intentional planning of my time.  Creating a curriculum for coaches and kids that will invite them to an inquiry around sport and their beliefs/behaviors in that area. Creating clarity for more things that I want in my life.  

I'm also seeing this for myself:  Being kind to myself.  Because, hey, I'm going to slip.  I'm going to get sucked into my phone.  I'm going to blow through those boundaries I set around my time.  And, yep, I'm going to be tempted to beat myself up.  What I want for me is to, as my good friend says, turn on the stream of compassion when I'm doing things that I wish I wasn't doing.  Because then, and only then, will I be able to actually SEE that I'm not doing what I really want to be doing.  (That's the insidious thing about technology....When I'm engaging in screen time it actually FEELS like I'm doing what I want to be doing, but oftentimes I'm not.  Check out The Social Dilemma on Netflix for more information on WHY it feels so good to be staring at a screen).

Here's the bottom line:  I want to engage more with life.  With people.  With the activities I want to be doing.  And I can.  It's up to me to do it.

As for the trip:  It was a blast.  Thanks to Kris and his family for another good time in the greater NY and NJ area.  

Peter Bradley Adams:  Great show.  City Winery was a great concert venue.  

The Greatest Games Podcast Crew:  WOW! What a great time that was Thursday night. Thank you all so much for coming out and connecting with all of us.  What a privilege it has been to get to know you.  Looking forward to more interactions in the future. 

Dr. D:  Great comedy show Friday night!

Mr. and Mrs. D:  Congratulations again on a beautiful place.  I’m so happy for y’all to be traveling and living the life you have.  Thanks for always being so real, genuine and welcoming to me.  

Blas:  Thanks for being there for me over the years.  It’s amazing to have a friendship that goes back so many years and so fun to have it continue.  

Hey Basketball, Thanks

I was a sophomore in college. I was pretty lost. I wasn’t involved in anything on campus. I had a few friends (or is it "I had few friends?"). I played a ton of video games.

At a camping trip, my friend mentioned that he heard the Men’s basketball team was looking for managers. I felt something shift inside of me. And I remember saying, “I’d kill to be able to do that.”

I didn’t kill anyone.

However, I did reach out and apply for a basketball student manager position, I interviewed (next time we talk remind me to tell you the story about Coach Fogler coming to the waiting room with a toy parrot on his shoulder), and I got the job.

Those last two and a half years as an undergraduate student at USC were heaven. I was around the game that I loved, people that I loved and it was new experience after new experience after new experience....and it was really fun. I was doing what I loved to do. I was meeting people. Working in the trenches with great folks. I was waking up early. I was filling up water bottles. I was wiping up sweat.

Yes, sweat.

And I loved every minute of it.

Because of that experience as a manager, I was able to get an opportunity as a graduate assistant two years later. I was living the dream again. Traveling, meeting people, working. It was another experience that I wouldn’t trade the world for.

During that time I worked with a fellow GA, Brett Carey. He came in my second year as a GA, and for that year I had a ball being around him and the rest of the crew. (Writing a book about all of the guys and experiences we had that year is long overdue. Trust me.)

Once I finished my time as a GA, I decided to pursue high school coaching. The following year when Brett’s time was up at USC, he went the college route and landed a job at his alma mater, UNC Asheville.

Most of the years during his time there I would make the drive up to watch a game and hang out for the weekend getting to be around the team, the coaches, the staff and even the team doctor (shoutout to Dr. Bob Boykin). I was having a blast. Those trips to Asheville were always life-giving and kept me around college basketball and all of the personalities that come with being around the game. Everyone I met at UNCA always made me feel welcome and cherish the times I had around their programs.

Brett then took a job at Indiana State in Terre Haute, Indiana four years ago. A quick peruse of this blog will show my love affair with Indiana, so needless to say my annual trips continued to visit with Brett.

I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more welcome at a place that is not my home than I do in Terre Haute. I’ve always loved the people of Indiana, but the people of Terre Haute have taken that love to a whole new level.

The coaches and staff members that I encountered during my time in Terre Haute welcomed me with open arms, and Greg Lansing (more on him later) treated me like I was one of their own.

Heck, even the Women’s Golf coach is the best. (G. Towne, I look forward to chatting with you more about growth and helping kids)

I even got to know some members of the community and they always me feel so welcomed.

And then there is Greg Lansing. Where do I begin with this one? What are a few of the words I would use to describe Coach Greg Lansing? Real. Honest. Caring. Engaging. Compassionate.

College basketball is an interesting landscape. I suspect it is similar to the landscapes of other industries. My experiences with coaches at the Division I level tells me that some of them are truly genuine souls that care deeply and that others of them are not. It’s a spectrum, and I’m not here to talk about other coaches. I’m here to talk about Greg Lansing. He is one-of-a-kind. Players love him. Coaches love him. The community loves him. And it’s easy to see why all of the above is true if you ever have the great pleasure to be around him.

I am incredibly grateful to him for the access he gave me to his program over the years. Being around him, his staff and his guys will forever be one of the greatest thrills of my journey throughout basketball. I am sad that his time in Terre Haute is over, however I am fully confident that the best is ahead of in life (with his wonderful wife Kristi) and his career because of who he is as a person.

So, basketball, thank you. Thank you for what you continue to provide this me through the relationships you have brought into my life.

BC, thanks for everything and for great times.

Let's Go Peay!

Yes, it's been over a year since I've posted to my blog. This past year has been a challenge. I love to travel, and the halt of the world because of The Great Pause and COVID-19, has certainly shown me how much I miss traveling. The above post was surrounding my trip to the 2021 Final Four in Indianapolis and the subsequent hanging out in Terre Haute, IN. Special people. Special place.

Dream Job

I was 15 years old playing varsity basketball for Eddie Talley at Wilson Hall when I decided I wanted to become a teacher and a coach.  The "teacher" part came as a bit of a shock to some of my friends as school wasn't something I tried very hard at.  I had endured the death of my best friend two years prior, was LOVING playing basketball for Coach Talley, realizing that I had a gift for remember X's and O's, and I decided that I wanted to be there for kids in the future just like coaches had been there for me in a very difficult and dark time.

I felt in alignment when I dreamed of being a teacher and a coach.  I didn't know what "alignment" meant back then, but I knew it felt true for me when I dreamt of being on the sidelines and in the front of a classroom.

So, I did what any dreamer that had clarity would do when they went to college:  I majored in Marketing and Management.  (insert record scratch sound effect here) That's right.  I studied in the School of Business at USC after I decided that those around me were right:  get a general degree just incase I don't know what I want to do when I'm done with school.  Sounds great, right?  The only problem is that I knew EXACTLY what I wanted to do.  Through working with the Men's Basketball team at USC, working camps and just being around basketball in general, my clarity had never been higher about wanting to do what I had been so clear about as a 15 year old.

Thankfully, I heard that Calhoun Academy needed a girls basketball coach.  I spoke with the AD, Adam Jarecki, and also the principal, Milly McLaughlin.  They wanted me, and I was sold!  And, they were going to pay me $14,000 a year to coach JV and Varsity Volleyball (a sport I had never played), JV and V Girls Basketball, and Boys Golf.  I couldn't believe it!  It was my dream setup and more money than I had ever heard of.  For two years I poured my heart, soul, body.....all of me into those kids and that community.  What a journey it was.  We were truly a "family."  (only those girls that played for me will really get the joke behind those quotation marks)

I love it so much that I decided I needed to go and get certified to teach.  And to do that, I found a Master's program at USC that ended up being another DREAM for me.  Between the years of 2004-2006 I was able to get my Master's of Arts in Teaching Business Education, build some of the best relationships of my life and two NIT rings with Men's Basketball at USC, this time as a Graduate Assistant.

It was time to search for a job, and thanks to the power of relationships, I was able to learn about the JV Boys Basketball job being open at Ridge View High School.  I had worked with John Combs during my manager days with USC and he was building a program at Ridge View.  I accepted the JV Boys job after a tough as nails interview with David Gordon (that's serious....not a joke.....hardest interview of my life and one that I felt like I completely blew).  During that interview I also agreed to become the Boys Cross Country coach at Ridge View along with the Career Prep Job Coach for Ridge View and Blythewood High Schools.  (side note:  seeing all of this on paper is really interesting.  Apparently I've never been one to just take "one" job.  But, I digress.)

For 9 years I was living the dream AGAIN.  I ended up coaching Boys Golf and Boys Track during those 9 years as well.  And when I say I was as happy as I could have ever imagined I could be, I mean it.....and then some.  I was busy all of the time, interacting with kids, interacting with parents, involved in athletics, traveling.  It was incredible.

5 years ago David Gordon decided to step aside into an Assistant Principal's role.  It was then that I needed to decide whether to try for the Athletic Director's job or not.  I knew there was a large part of me that would love that job.  And I also knew there was a large part of me that had just come off one of my favorite year's of coaching.  If you're still reading this, I would be happy to tell you about the time I erroneously called out a player in front of the JV Basketball team AND also the time I learned the truth about "5 bad calls."  Email me at brosefield@richland2.org and we can set up a time to talk about those transformational moments for me.

But, I decided to go for the job.  And I got it.  And very quickly I was asking myself, "what in the world were you THINKING?!!?  You gave up your dream job to be busier than humanly possible, more tired than humanly possible all while NOT coaching?!?!?"  You can tell that with thinking like that, it was a tough year for me.

It wasn't until probably halfway through year two as an AD that I realized that I had a great job, and I now had a chance to coach coaches.   And by coaching coaches, my ideas on life and sports might reach more kids.

Let me be clear at this point in this post:  As a young coach I wanted to WIN.   I thought that was all there was to sports.  X's, O's, hustle and WINS.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  It took several years, hundreds of special kids and many teams to teach me that sports is much more than wins and losses.  Everyone loves a winner.....I get it.  But, when I decided to be a coach at age 15, that had nothing to do with winning.  It had everything to do with love.  Loving kids.  Helping kids.  Letting kids know that they aren't alone.  Letting them FEEL that someone had their back.

So it was in year two (I think) that we developed our Athletic Department Core Values (Ownership, Continuous Improvement, Truth, Unity and Service), our Mission Statement (#NextLevel - what are we doing to help our kids grow through the sport they are participating in at Ridge View) and our Athletic Department Vision (We want our kids to look back on their time with our Athletic Department as the most valuable time in their lives....we literally want them to look back and say, "my life was transformed through the experiences I had playing sports at Ridge View.").  If we can, as coaches and administrators, make decisions through those filters then WOW can we have an impact.  And the funny thing is, and I first realized this coaching Cross Country, that by truly living through the above filters, the winning takes care of itself.  If we are truly trying to development young people on the field/court and off, the winning will happen.  It's the most interesting paradox I've ever seen.

All of this takes me to year 5 in this job where I have truly come to an acceptance of what I get to do.  I truly get excited because of the role I get to play in the development of our student-athletes, our coaches, our staff, administration, community and beyond. 

Today I was recognized as the Region III-AAAA Athletic Director of the year.  I'd like to thank Jason Powell for the nomination and the rest of the Region ADs for voting me for this honor.  Those guys are first-class and I'll miss interacting with them on a weekly basis as I have for the past 5 years.  It's been a real blast.

I realized several things this week while in Charleston for our annual AD's conference.  The first is that I am truly thankful for the opportunity I have to be around kids, coaches, schools, athletics and community.  I am also thankful to be a part of the fraternity/sorority of high school Athletic Directors.  What a fun bunch they are.  I really appreciate my connections with the ones that see the world as I do:  that we're here to give kids a chance to grow. 

I'm beginning to ramble.  Maybe you'd say I started rambling at the conclusion of the title.

All I really want to say is this:  I have come to an acceptance that I have a place in this world and that, once again, I have my dream job.  Working with the kids, coaches, staff, administration, families, district, community and beyond at Ridge View has been an incredible experience for me.  To be recognized today was nice, I'm not going to lie.  But you know that's not why I'm doing this.  I've never been more clear about my desire to love and accept others and to help them feel a little less alone than I am now.  What else is there?  The wins fade, but the experiences, the love.....they go on and on and on.

Walking the Terre Haute Dog

That title. Yes.  I know.  It was a stretch.  But, listen, I like having silly titles.  

Also, when I said "listen" just now, were you hearing that word in my voice, your voice, another voice, your mind's voice?  What is that all about?  Like really, who is talking in your head as you're reading this?  And, who is talking as I'm typing this?  Just something to think about.  I certainly don't have the answer.  

Another trip to Terre Haute, Indiana is in the books.  This was my third time being around the first-class staff of the Indiana State Sycamores.  It's an absolute thrill every time I'm around a college basketball team.  Huge thanks to Brett and everyone for being so welcoming to me yet again.  

This trip flew by and marked the first time I have ever rented a car in Indiana.  Those fans of this blog will know this is the second time I've driven in Indiana.  With that exciting fact out of the way, let me get to the details of this trip.  

I got to do exactly what I wanted to do:

Watch practice, see Shootaround, go to the game, hang out with BC, see Sheldon, talk with coaches and staff, meet new folks, pet a dog.  Pretty complete trip if I may say so myself.  And I just did.  

The game didn't go the Sycamore's way, but, dang is it hard to win at the Division I level.  These ISU coaches work their tails off as do the kids.  It just work out yesterday.  I have no doubt that the pieces are in place there for a good run down the stretch.  

I'm not saying this was just a ho hum trip to Indiana, but what I can say is this:

I had a blast being around great people, talking, connecting and just simply doing life with them. 

Welp

I love watching cars go fast. Thanks to Tony and Joe over the years I've been able to get tickets to Darlington to watch cars go fast.

No such luck today.

And you know, what? Oh well.

It was fun hanging with Jon, Brian and Alex in the rain waiting to get into the track. It was also fun changing clothes in the Florence airport. That felt a little Jason Borne-Ish.

On to Charlotte and then to Denver!

Post Japan

(I wrote most of this on the way back from Japan on Sunday, July 21, 2019)

I’ve been kinda pissy today.  I know that I’m tired.  I know I’ve got a cold.  And I think I’m a little pissed that I have to leave Japan today.  I guess I don’t HAVE to leave today.  

I could:

Stay

Get fired 

Lose my house

And on and on 

I’m not willing to do any of the above.  So, I’ll stay on this airplane back to the States. 

If anyone has read any of my posts from this trip they would know I had a good time in Japan.  I mean a really, really good time.  I always like to write at the end of my trip.  Interestingly I’m finding myself not wanting to write at this moment.  

And that’s ok too.  I don’t have to judge that.  

However, I think there is something at play here for me today:

Typically when I travel I have an amazing time.  I meet new people.  I see new things.  Try new food.  Learn new things.  Did I mention I have an amazing time?  

With that being true, I typically interpret the experiences I have while traveling as anomalies and think things like:

1.  These types of experiences don’t or can’t happen in my normal life back home.

2.  People in different countries/states are more friendly and accepting than people at home in SC.

The reality is that neither of the above are true.  Here’s the truth:

1.  I have incredible experiences at home in SC.  And, I can have more.

2.  There are friendly, loving, incredible people everywhere....some just speak native languages and/or have different accents than mine. 

Somewhere along the way I learned that I need to hide.  I don’t like that.  I’m not sure where I learned it.  But I exhibit that behavior from time to time.  Oftentimes when someone asks me to do something, my answer is “no.”  I don’t like that.  

The fact is:  I’m more open to people and experiences when I travel.  I’m a “yes” kind of guy when I travel.  That’s why I love to travel.  I can be who I want to be.  I can speak to people.  I can build relationships with people.  I believe there’s a reason for that:  there’s SAFETY in knowing that I may not see them again in my life.  Here's more truth:  I'm hard-wired to be concerned about what others think.  Oftentimes, I make decisions based on what I think other people are thinking, and I get down the road and look back and think, "what am I doing?  I never wanted this."  It's scary.  And I'm aware of it.  And I'm working on it.  And, I'm much better at recognizing that distorted thinking.  

That’s what makes this trip so unique. Pablo made this trip unique for me.  I spent a lot of time with him, met his friends and spent time with them, AND even met his family and spent time with them.  It all still blows me away to think about it....to think about how all of that just happened.  It happened because I spoke to him and he spoke to me.  I said “yes” to his invitation to hang out with him and his buddies.  And off we were.  

And there’s still a part of me that thinks that what happened for me with Pablo, for example, is the anomaly.  Now, let me be honest, I have a hard time believing that I’ll meet another Pablo in my life while traveling.  Someone that open, fun, honest, curious, intelligent, loving and real.  Maybe I will. But I think I’ll be hard-pressed. 

That’s beside the point.  

My point is:   There is still a part of me that feels like I don’t deserve good times and good friends. That I don’t deserve friends like Pablo.  That I don’t deserve loving people in my life like Antonio, Luis, and Pablo’s wife and kids.  

And so I hide.   

I hate that I feel that way and behave that way.  There are people in Columbia that want to hang out with me.  Like truly want to hang out with me.  And oftentimes I prioritize other things over those relationships and over spending time with them.  And that’s a “me” challenge.  (And as I am going back to re-read this before posting, I realize that I don't have to "hate" myself of these types of thoughts and behaviors.  I can accept them.  Accept that there is a little boy inside of me that developed hiding as a strategy to survive.  And I can love and accept that about him/me and realize that I/he am doing the best I/he can.  If this doesn't make any sense, I'd be happy to share more offline about my experience with Little Brian work.)

Travel brings out the best in me.  I get to show up in a different part of the world or US and just be me.  I can take risks without the constant “looking over my shoulderness” (or codependency) that is typically ever-present for me.  That codependency can really cripple me if I allow it and if I listen to the fear associated with it.  Travel allows me to largely, not totally, leave that codependency behind.  And, it's funny, as I was talking with a friend this morning, I realize that one of the biggest fears I have is looking like a fool or looking like an idiot.  And that type of thinking is ALL centered around what others are thinking of me.  And, again, I'm hard-wired to be in tune with what others are thinking.    

I write the above paragraph to say:  I want to be different.  I want to show up differently in Columbia and in the US in general.  I want to forge deeper relationships with the people that care about me and that I care about.  I can do that.  I can allow myself to be accepted for me.  I can remember that I don't have to perform for love or be a certain way in order to be accepted.  That's one reason I like writing like this publicly. I realize that most people don't read this and most don't make it this far.  And that's ok.  But, this is a way for me to publicly tell on myself.  It's risky.  It's risky to put this type of thinking out into the world.  I know that if someone makes it this far they may think, "That dude is weird," or something similar.  And you know what?  They'd be right.  And I'm ok with being different.  I'm ok with being a thinker....a processor.  I love that about me.

Delta has a wonderful promo video they show prior to their safety video.  Which, by the way, their safety video is hilarious yet informative and really holds my attention.  View it here.  The CEO of Delta says a couple of things I love in the promo before the safety video:

1. Travel is the ultimate teacher

2. Travel challenges our beliefs

He says more, but these are the two that stuck out to me.  I love both of those statements and especially the first one when it comes to this trip.  

It happened again for me.  I hopped on a plane, landed in another part of the world and I learned.  I learned about a new part of the world.  I learned about people.  I learned about myself.  I was rejuvenated.  My lighthouse light was lighted again. 

Sam Glenn is a motivational speaker that I had the distinct pleasure to hear four years ago.  See some of his work here.  But, he talked about that we all have our light go out from time to time.  And it's up to us to light it again.  My light got lit again by travel, and I'm terribly and extraordinarily thankful to have had the opportunity to do this.

I'm thankful for:

• Pablo and his family
• Luis, Antonio and the two Japanese women at Hub
• Eric
• Yasu and Kumi at Docheche in Okayama.
• Isabelle
• Tanaka at Tanaka Guesthouse in Kyoto
• The Japanese man at the first restaurant I stopped in for lunch in Tokyo
• The woman in Kyoto smiling and dancing in the rain
• The Japanese people in general.  I learned so much about respect and true caring for humans from them throughout my time in Japan.

I'm thankful to have seen and done many things:

• Seeing Teresa in Kyoto Station was a real hoot.  Had to come to Japan to see a high school classmate!
• Riding the Shinkansen (Bullet Train)....incredible way to travel.
• Eating amazing takoyaki, sashimi, ramen, gyoza, yakisoba, okonomiyaki (this was my favorite.  Pablo and I had it in Kyoto Station one evening), carepan, eating comfort food at Lawson's and Familymart, oden soup for breakfast and more.  Oh and eating Kobe Beef.  What a wonderful lunch that was.
• Seeing Fushimi-Nari, Senso-Ji and Nezu Shinto Shrines (and others) and many Buddhist Temples throughout the country.
• Sitting in Higashi-Honganji Temple in Kyoto.  This was my first experience of peace and quiet in a traditional Buddhist Temple and something that I won't soon forget.
• Spending the day in Kurashiki with Pablo's family.
• Seeing the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.
• Visiting the onsen public bath in Kyoto.
• Discovering the world of Train Station Lockers.  Game.  Changer.
• Playing music in Okayama.  Still hard to believe that happened.  What a night.
• Communicating with Luis via Google Translate in Kyoto.
• Taking the boat trip with Pablo
• Stopping and pausing at Tenryu-Ji Temple in Arashiyama.
• and much, much more.

I put those lists there for my memory.  

I realized something a long time ago when traveling.  Yes, it's cool to see things, experience new foods, new cultures, and all of the new things that come with travel.

But.

It's the people.  It's the people that move the meter for me.  It's the people that create something special for me.  It was the people that I came into contact with that created an amazing Japan experience for me.  I love people.  I love having fun with people.  Connecting with them.  Talking with them.  Experiencing life with them.  It was through them that I was able to learn about myself.  To see things open up within me.

It's still hard for me to believe this trip happened the way it did for me.  I'm in awe of it all.  Of everything.  Of everyone.  

Thank you for following on this journey.  It's so helpful for me to write.  To get my thoughts out.  Thank you for being a part of this with me.  Oh, and that part at the beginning of this post where I said I didn't feel like writing?  That happens from time to time.  And yet, when I put "pen to paper," usually the words flow and flow.

I wish you peace and connection.

More photos can be viewed here.

Picture This

Picture this:

A big, sweaty American steps in the Yokohama Baystars gear store.

Ok in this story I'm the big, sweaty American so I'll continue:

I see a jersey I'd like to purchase. I see sizes S and M and quickly dismiss those, obviously. I see L and then O.

I'm an O

That's not the point.

As I asked the attendant what O meant, e proceeded to graciously show me a sample O and motioned for me to try it on.

He then held my drink AND my bag.

I struggled to get the jersey on because of my watch.....and maybe my stomach, so from behind me ANOTHER gentleman gently helps me put on the jersey.

And that's just some of the magic of Japan and of the Japanese people.

Japan has welcomed me with open arms and as I sit outside of Yokohama stadium, I'm sad to think about leaving tomorrow.

But: I will be back. And, I'm going to enjoy this game!

See more of my travels at roseoverexposed.blogspot.com

Hasta Luego

I said "see you later" to Pablo today as he hopped a Shinkansen bullet train to go be with his family.

He and I toured around the Ueno area today and found really cool, local spots. It didn't feel like we were in Tokyo as it was really quiet and peaceful.

Absolutely loved my time with Pablo and his family during my trip here.

Pablo, Antonio, Luis and I all hung out last night too.

You know me, I'll write more on these guys sometime in the coming days. These guys are the best.

And in thinking about Pablo, his directness is something I really appreciate about him. He actually tells me what he's thinking. And I know when he says he wants to hang out with me, I know that he actually wants to hang out with me.

Here's what Melody Beattie said today about directness:

Remind Me

....To tell you about what the Spaniards taught me about swirling a glass.

That is all.

Foot Bath Outside of the Bay Hotel Ginza?

Yes please.

Seriously. In a City if 14 Million Plus?

....what are the chances that our group of Pablo, Luis, Antonio and I would arrive at this market at EXACTLY the same time as Eric (whom I met and hung out with when I first got to Tokyo)?

I'm not sure what the chances are, but I would imagine I would have a greater chance at winning the powerball and mega millions in the same week.

Dang, I should have played the lottery because Eric and another hostelmate walked in right ahead of us. It was awesome to reconnect and tell him all about my time in Kyoto which he'll be going to in the coming weeks.

All six of us walked through the market for a bit and then went our separate ways. I may get to see him again before I leave Sunday. Yes. Don't remind me. Sunday.

The four of us then walked around Tokyo for the balance of the day stopping in shops, having lunch and going through the Tokyo version of Times Square.

I'm back at the capsule hotel I'm staying in doing some laundry before heading out to dinner.

The heat is here in Tokyo!

That Time I Met Pablo's Family In Kurashiki

Simple title. Amazing day.

Not sure who Pablo is?  Peruse a few posts back.

And seriously, how fun of a word is "peruse?"  It's functional yet bourgeois, fun yet inpersonal.

Ok enough of that.

Today.  Wow.  Today I met Pablo's wife, his two kids and his wife's friend.  I'm going to leave their names out just to protect anonymity. They have nothing to hide. I just don't trust this internet thing sometimes.

The funny thing about not having a plan and places to be is that I can do things like I did yesterday:
Leave Kyoto
Take the bullet train west to Hiroshima
Take the bullet train back east to Okayama
Book a hostel on the train
Play guitar in a restaurant and have the time of my life
Go to bed

....and then wake up today and met Pablo's family for a walking tour of Kurashiki.  What a hilarious and eventful day it was.  His kids are the most energetic kids I've been around in a long time AND multilingual:  they speak Spanish and are learning Japanese and English.  Me?  Oh. I know English.

His wife is uber-impressive. She grew up in Japan, moved to Ireland to learn English and then learned Spanish AFTER moving to Spain with Pablo.  So today she spoke all three languages in the group as her friend's English wasn't great. She exudes peace and tranquillity.  Never too high.  Never too low. And if you knew Pablo you would know that they balance each other quite well. (Both have told me that).

Her friend was super as well. Very friendly and personable and for someone that says her English isn't great, she spoke it pretty well.

We toured around Kurashiki stopping in shops, a museum, had green tea at a cafe, had lunch and stopped in an old, traditional Japanese house which was really neat to see.

All of that was cool for me.  But you know me, oh fictional reader.....you know I like conversation.  And it was fascinating hearing more about his wife's life growing up and what life is like now.  Oh and by the way, she needs the  mother of the year award as her two boys were running full throttle all day long and she just calmly kept her cool.  She raised her voice one time when one was in slight danger of a car.  Otherwise she let them be boys which I thought was awesome.

A day like today doesn't happen without the following:
Travel
Hostels
Speaking to people in hostels
Curiosity
And yep:  showing up

A day like today can't be found in any online itinerary or travel book.

A day like today is just what I want from travel:
To be around people just talking and learning and sharing.

Like seriously, how lucky am I? I hung out with people who, just 9 hours earlier, were complete strangers. And now, at the end of the visit to hear her say, "Anytime....you are welcome with us in Spain.".....wow.

My first thoughts when I hear that are:
"What?  Are you kidding me?"

I now know that those thoughts are born out of that old, distorted belief system:
That u don't belong
That people don't want to be around me
That I can't be me
That I need to perform for love
That I don't deserve good things

But here's the really:
I do belong. I do deserve good things.  I do deserve to be happy.  And I can love others.  I can share with others.  I can do life with others and enjoy the ride.

....just like I did today.

Thank you guys for another amazing and incredible day in Japan.

Couldn't Make It Up If I Tried

I arrived in Okayama last night a little after 7 and was super hungry. I walked the 500 meters from the station to the hostel and on the way passed an awesome looking tiny little restaurant that I wanted to try.  So after checking and meeting the two German guys in my room at the hostel  (which by the way takes me back to freshman year.....and it is awesome), I walked back to Docheche, the restaurant I had passed on the way. I have more pictures I can try and upload later.  Technology has been a little bit of a challenge the last 24 hours.

I walked in and noticed there were seats for about 14 people, give or take 0.  There was also a guitar in the corner.  I love live music by the way.

I ordered dinner and it was incredible.  I started communicating with the cook who didn't speak much English.  We used Google Translate a little.  I asked him if anyone was playing tonight. He asked if I played and I said "only a little."  The gentleman to my left then piped up and he stated that he played a little.  The woman that was also working there then started speaking English and encouraged us to play after we finished eating.

So.  I finished eating and within about 30 seconds the cook brought out two more guitars and handed one to me and one to the other guy.  He said "blues?"  So I started playing a couple of bluesy chords and off we went into a world of music, fun, energy and connection.  And by the way, BOTH of them were EXCELLENT guitar players.  They are on the level of my friend Pete.

I was in heaven.  I mean.  Seriously.  Here I am in Okayama, Japan with two locals that barely speak English and yet we are able to connect through music.  I can't explain in words how much I enjoyed it.  Let's be clear:  I'm an average AT BEST guitar player and both of these guys can rip it up, and yet they were super gracious to me and helped me learn some new things while being able to play along with them.

There is something about playing music that brings people together.  It created a space for me to be creative and to PLAY with both of these guys.  I felt lighter and happier once we were done playing.

We played about three long jams and the customer that played with us left.

That's when the cook, the woman (who turned out to be his girlfriend) and I started talking. Kumi and  Yasu were their names with the latter being the male.  I know I'm butchering their spellings but it's as close as I can get.

We talked music, about their lives and businesses (they live above the restaurant), South Carolina and my life and it was awesome.  Simply awesome.

Here's me telling on myself:  I have passed countless restaurants during my time here because of fear.  Yep. And not because I was afraid of the people and getting hurt.  No.  Although that happens from time to time.  No.  This fear had to do with me looking like a fool.  The fear that this American boy was going to annoy the restaurant folks.

So.

Last night I stepped in one of the restaurants.  And guess what?  Yep. It was awkward.  And yep it was freaking awesome.  The truth is that it is REALLY difficult to communicate with Japanese folks that don't speak much English.   Last night was one of those nights.  And yet Kumi  did the best she could talking with me and translating for Yasu and I employed a little Google Translate to help as well.  (Pro tip:  download the language of the county or counties visiting before getting there so it can be used offline.  You're welcome.). Even with the awkwardness and the times that they couldn't understand me and vice versa, there was still connection.  Fun.  And lots of it.

Yasu and I played a few more songs together.  I showed him and played some of the artists that I love right now (David Ramirez, Amos Lee, and I also played a little Ray Lamontagne for him.....hysterically he nailed Ray's last name on his first shot).  Kumi and I connected on Facebook. And I called it a night after a long day of travel and sightseeing.

It was time for pictures and Kumi started to wonder how we were all going to fit in the picture.  Oh yeah, she wanted the four other ladies that were in the restaurant to be in the picture. So I just flipped my camera around and lifted my hand in the air to show her we could do it.  Her reaction was priceless:  she said "ohhhhhhhhhh wowwwwwww," like I was 7 feet tall.  Cracks me up still to think about it and to look at the picture.

With pictures taken, it was time to say goodbye.  And say goodbye we did, vowed to stay in touch and I left.  I left the restaurant.

I got about 25 feet from the restaurant and Yasu calls my name and runs down the street towards me.  I figured I had forgotten my wallet.  And yet he hands me a pen.  Like a click writing pen.  I told him I thought it was his, that I didn't leave it behind.   He said, "No, no.  Gift."

I'm feeling so much as I relive this story.  I feel loved.  Accepted.  Warm.   Yasu gave me a pen.  He could have given me a napkin for all I care.  But for him to give me something from the heart means the absolute world to me.

I'm tempted to make a generalization about all Japanese people here, rather I'm just going to speak about Yasu and Kumi.  They are two of the most lovable and welcoming creatures I've ever encountered on this earth.  They provided me with one of the greatest nights I have ever had while traveling.....possibly ever. And to think:  had I listened to my fear, I would have never met them. I would have never felt love and given love to them. I showed up. And that happened.  I showed up.  And magic happened.  I'm not saying that I'm magic, no.  I'm just saying I learned last night that showing up as Brian.....like really showing up.....magic happens. Last night it happened in the form of music and laughter and connection.  The next time?  Who knows.  Here's the good news:  I don't have to control nor label what happens.

I can just show up and experience.