It’s Not the Place

You're here because you followed a link to my blog. Thanks for being here. This is a travel blog. Sort of. 

I use this blog to remember the things that I do when I travel. I also use it to share some things that I've learned or have learned throughout the years and over my travels in hopes you might find it useful, feel a little less alone, more connected to yourself and the world around you, and more.

Currently I'm sitting at LGA in terminal D awaiting my flight back to CLT.  Before I go any further, I'd encourage you to check out Clear. For years I've been in love with TSA Precheck, and while I'm not breaking up with it, I have found that Clear is TSA Pre on steroids.  In a fairly busy airport like LGA, there were around 30 people in the TSA Pre line this morning,  Not bad by any means.  But, there was 1 person ahead of me at the Clear line.  I scanned my eyes, yes, my eyes.  Waited about 90 seconds and walked right to a metal detector.  Correct, I didn't have to talk to the TSA agent (who seemed lovely, by the way).  Just a plug for a company out there doing nice things for people for $179 per year.  That's all. And, no, Clear isn't paying me.

I love travel. I think you know that. I say it often. Among other things, travel allows me the space to detach from my day to day life and experience something different. My world view is always expanded no matter where I visit. 

I experienced a lot of "different" this weekend from family gatherings, time with an old friend, comedy shows, a Ryan Adams show at Carnegie Hall, breakfast and a walk with an old friend this morning, and a phone conversation with a another old friend this morning. 

All of the above were great experiences for me. But it was breakfast this morning, the walk after it and the phone conversation back at the hotel that had me really going into inquiry. 

Inquiry is a powerful place for me to be. It's a space between knowing (or what I think I know) and decisions or doing. At least that's what inquiry feels like this morning. 

My friend is traveling the world, back and forth between NYC and a variety of places around Europe.  All of that sounds great.  I'm not here to write about "what I need to be doing with my life."  No.  I'm here to write about my experience of the life I have.  Of the life I'm creating.  And to think about the life I want to create moving forward.  

I wrote some this morning after breakfast and the phone conversation.  Here is what I wrote:

"What is the question I'm trying to answer?  

Is it:

What is waiting to be expressed through me in the world?

What will make me happy?

What will others be impressed with?

What can I get out of this life?

What can I accomplish in this life?

Who can I serve in this life?

How can I make the world a better place?

Who can I love while I'm here?"

All of these are big questions. As I look at them now, I believe that they are all connected in some ways.  

(I make no judgment on which question I'm trying to answer or the question you are trying to answer.  I'm simply just pondering. Inquiring.)

Often I'm going through life trying to answer the "what can I accomplish/what can I get out of life/what will make ME happy/what will others be impressed with" questions. I got into education trying to answer the "who can I serve/how can I make the world a better place" questions.  

Now, I'm trying to move toward answering the "who can I love (not romantic love)/what is waiting to be expressed in the world through me" as well as the "who can I serve/how can I make the world a better place" questions.  Those questions coupled together would make for quite an experience of life. 

"Trying" is the word I'm wanting to pay attention to. Another question for me: "when did I start to play the gimme, gimme, gimme game?" My worst days are the days in which I feel underappreciated, unloved, unacceptable, etc. I walk around wanting others to tell me I'm ok and doing a good job. Now listen, I get it.  I know people do that. But what I'm striving for is to be able to give that to myself more. Still a challenge. 

Ultimately my default, often, is to give more credence to what you think rather than to what I think.  It takes practice for me to be me. 

And that's all I'm trying to do.  Be me.  Being me can change the world.  Not in a, "Hey, look at what I'm doing over here y'all!  I'm changing the world.  You're welcome," kind of way.  Just me, being me, is what the world needs. 

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

― Howard Thurman