100 Pages

 Yes. I’m typing this out on my phone.  (I’ll explain why I point that out in a few moments.)

I just read over 100 pages in a book.  This is a book that I started a few months ago.  It’s a book called What Drives Winning by Brett Ledbetter.  His stuff was recommended by a podcast guest we had a few months back (Chris Mongilia).  After watching some videos by Brett I was hooked on what he had to say about sport and life.  He sees the world of sport, competition, winning and more in much the same way I do.  

So, I started his book.  And I liked it. 

Then I stopped reading his book.  It sat for months on my coffee table. 

Before I left for this trip to NY/NJ (this is a travel blog….sort of), I packed the book.  

I started reading the book on the way out here.  Then I stopped.  I told myself, “See?  This is what you do.  You start things and don’t finish them.”  Sounds like a kind thing to say right?

But it’s often true.  What I then did was went to guilt and shame.  Those are fun emotions.  Lump in some judgment and then I’m really cooking. When I’m there, I’m stuck.  And when I get stuck, guess what:  I have more evidence that I don’t finish what I start, and so the carousel of my own creation continues.  And make no mistake, I’m the creator of all of it.  

Before I left La Guardia I picked the book back up out of my backpack.  I had about 45 minutes before my flight boarded so I started reading. I was hooked again.  I was seeing things that were inspiring to me.  Synapses were firing in my brain that felt good.  I was learning. I was reading.  I was connecting with material.  And I know that about myself:  when I’m reading I feel good.  I feel empowered.  I feel like I can do anything.  

But what do I often do?

I pick up my phone.  I check my email.  I check Twitter.  I may even check the news.  And to be honest:  I get sucked in.  Yes, there is plenty of information out there that has proven how addicting it can be to pick up the phone.  

It’s really as if books have no shot when it comes to competing for my attention.  But why is that?  

When I read, I feel great.  I feel accomplished.  I learn.  

When I zone out with my phone, I feel lethargic.  I feel soft.  

Where’s the balance?  I have a job.  I live in a connected world.  I have to check my email.  I have to check social media.  Right?

I think the answer is yes.  But what I just re-learned is that it really comes down to parenting myself.  Telling that part of me that just wants to zone out on my phone, “Hey, I hear you.  How about read for an hour and then you can look at your phone if you want?”  Not always easy for me to do, but I think that’s where the freedom is.  

Because, let’s be honest, my phone and even social media can be a GREAT thing.  It can provide connection to the world that I love, ESPECIALLY when I travel.  And yes, it has allowed to compose this post.  

What I’m seeing for myself in the near future:  a more intentional planning of my time.  Creating a curriculum for coaches and kids that will invite them to an inquiry around sport and their beliefs/behaviors in that area. Creating clarity for more things that I want in my life.  

I'm also seeing this for myself:  Being kind to myself.  Because, hey, I'm going to slip.  I'm going to get sucked into my phone.  I'm going to blow through those boundaries I set around my time.  And, yep, I'm going to be tempted to beat myself up.  What I want for me is to, as my good friend says, turn on the stream of compassion when I'm doing things that I wish I wasn't doing.  Because then, and only then, will I be able to actually SEE that I'm not doing what I really want to be doing.  (That's the insidious thing about technology....When I'm engaging in screen time it actually FEELS like I'm doing what I want to be doing, but oftentimes I'm not.  Check out The Social Dilemma on Netflix for more information on WHY it feels so good to be staring at a screen).

Here's the bottom line:  I want to engage more with life.  With people.  With the activities I want to be doing.  And I can.  It's up to me to do it.

As for the trip:  It was a blast.  Thanks to Kris and his family for another good time in the greater NY and NJ area.  

Peter Bradley Adams:  Great show.  City Winery was a great concert venue.  

The Greatest Games Podcast Crew:  WOW! What a great time that was Thursday night. Thank you all so much for coming out and connecting with all of us.  What a privilege it has been to get to know you.  Looking forward to more interactions in the future. 

Dr. D:  Great comedy show Friday night!

Mr. and Mrs. D:  Congratulations again on a beautiful place.  I’m so happy for y’all to be traveling and living the life you have.  Thanks for always being so real, genuine and welcoming to me.  

Blas:  Thanks for being there for me over the years.  It’s amazing to have a friendship that goes back so many years and so fun to have it continue.