Recently I've learned a lot about focusing on the process and enjoying the moment. Joshua Medcalf(author of Pound the Stone, Chop Wood Carry Water, Burn Your Goals and more) speaks about this a lot in his writings. Focusing on the process and moving towards who I want to become rather than an end GOAL per se, like a certain weight, has transformed a lot of the ways I do things.
For example, my weight has fluctuated up and down over the years. I'll set a goal and work towards hitting that goal. I'll workout, jump on to some fad diet and the weight will drop. But then I'll have a bad day, or even a bad meal, and say, "See, I told you I couldn't stick with it! I never can keep the weight off. I might as well eat this entire dozen of donuts! (again, for those of you keeping score at home, that really happened)
And things have been different for me lately. A few months back, I set a vision of being lighter so I could walk around Europe better. And guess what, I am lighter. How much lighter? I don't know. Because I don't weight. I know I'm lighter because I'm in smaller clothes, I feel better and I'm able to do 30,000+ steps a day and survive just fine with being a little tired. My point is, setting that vision drove my decision-making in the moment. I get up early, I workout, I don't eat junk, I eat good food, and I feel better. And I'm lighter. I've gotten to where I enjoy the process of my morning routine coupled with good eating. (Oh and I take completely cold showers in the morning because of the health benefits....Google it)
None of these things are easy for me to do. But I believe that the more I engage in them, the more disciplined I become, and the better able I'm able to do the things I want to do.....in this case motor around Europe. The shower thing is especially hard to be honest and there's still a voice in me that says, "Come on. Just this once take a warm shower." But I know for me that will turn into two, then three and so on.
I'm much better just staying in the moment, trusting the process, doing the hard thing(even when I don't want to do it.....thanks Jocko Willink(Google him)) and as James Clear says(jamesclear.com) I'm better because I made that one decision(he's big on life being about habits and just doing the next right thing). James keeps it simple for me. I don't have to have everything figured out in the future. I can have a vision, know the direction I'm going and make decisions that align with that.
(Lots of parentheses today so far). (I feel Greek when I say that word)
Which, speaking of alignment, that's why I love our RV Sports Core Values, Mission Statement and Vision. They all align and if we as coaches make decisions based out of those things, knowing that coaches can run their programs their way, then we will be serving our kids and helping them grow which I believe is the whole point of sports, especially at the high school level.
Ok, wow, this one is really meandering. Let me get back to the original point of this post which I started writing after breakfast, then I took a walk around krakow(more on that in a moment) and I'm finishing it now that I'm riding in a cab to the airport(also more on that in a moment because it all fits in my opinion).
Yesterday was a really tough day for me. There were several things at play making it difficult that I'd like to share:
1. I was fatigued
2. I saw a place where millions of people were killed (Auschwitz)
3. Seeing Auschwitz checked the only real box I had for this trip
4. I had a really poor outlook on Kraków before I arrived here
5. I felt lonely
6. I was hungry for much of the last third of the day
7. I felt sad
8. And I think I was a little angry with myself
So, I had a choice. I could feel sorry for myself, move into self pity and just isolate. I'm really good at those things as I've practiced those hard for a lot of my life.
Instead I chose to do some healthy things for me:
1. I wrote. I wrote some really intense stuff. And in getting it out of my head, I was able to see it in black and white and realize that I was ramped up and things weren't as bad as I was making them out to be. If you'd like to see what I wrote, let me know and mayyyyybe I'll share it with you. But no guarantees.
2. I got on the phone. That God for technology as I was able to connect with a few key people in my life that helped me process things out, see the truth in what was going on and help me get some clarity about what I was doing here.....and in the process help me identify Zurich as the place I would go today besides DANG I love me some mountains and beautiful scenery.
3. I leaned into the fear and made a decision to buy a plane ticket to Zurich. Then another by getting a hostel in Zurich. And then this morning I made another by going for a walk. All of those decisions helped to melt the anxiety I was feeling(and the anger toward myself for not having it ALLLLLLLL figured out beforehand).
4. I ate something
5. I got into bed at a decent time
So let me talk about that walk. This is in relation to the working out I do in the mornings back in the States. I made the decision while in Europe not to wake up early and work out because I knew I would be active. And another thing I know about myself is that I love to walk cities and towns that I don't know. And this morning was no different. I had a few minutes after breakfast so I decided to take a walk. Then I took a turn. And another. Then another. I stopped and bought some nail clippers. Asked the lady if the waterfront was pretty. She said yes. I took another turn and found Wawel Castle which is on the waterfront and boy was it nice. I walked around Kraków not for 30 minutes like I thought but for just over an hour. I worked up a good sweat and was reminded how much I enjoy exercising in the morning and also how I enjoy discovering (and to try and keep this post on theme: how much I enjoy the journey when I'm aware of the journey). I can't tell you how good I feel. And not that I'm aiming to feel good all the time because I know that's not possible. But it feels good to feel good. And I wouldn't have these good feelings if I didn't embrace and lean into the bad ones and walk through them.
Again, much of my life I've avoided those bad feelings. But now that I can feel them and name them, I'm finding a whole new set of positive feelings. And you know, I'd like to correct myself: I'm choosing to believe that feelings are neither good nor bad. They just are.
José from Argentina whom I met in Prague and I had a beautiful conversation at the Stalin Park my last night there. We talked about feelings. Yes. Two hostel staying world travelers standing where a communist champion's statue used to stand talking about feelings. And he said the coolest thing:
"Brian, you have to be friends with life."
I absolutely love that. Hearing that, and writing it now, reminds me of several things:
Life has ups and downs
Life is not perfect
Life is messy sometimes
Life doesn't fit into my box of expectations a lot of the time(if not most of the time)
The tide is going to go out sometimes
And the tide is going to come back in
All I have to do is show up
Acceptance is still the key
Enjoy the moment
Love myself, love others, serve others, provide value to others
I can choose to be thankful about everything that happens to me. Yes. I mean everything. (And by doing that, I'll see the beauty in what is happening around and to me and also inside me)
Disclaimer: this is still a travel blog that I keep so I can remember the things that I do when I travel. In a lot of ways it has morphed into a way for me to learn a ton of things while I travel. I am choosing to put these thoughts out in the world as well. Thank you for reading and thank you for the comments. Neither are needed and both are appreciated for sure.
Here are some pictures from my beautiful walk around Kraków this morning.
The park encircles the Old Town. Today is beautiful in Kraków and it was a gorgeous walk to Wawel Castle and to the waterfront view. The park can be seen in the map picture. Maps.me is a must for a traveler by the way but download the city map before getting there so it can be used offline.
My room at One World Hostel. Too bunk again. I'm a pro getting out of them now! Honestly I wouldn't stay at OWH again. And I'd like to do Kraków again at some point to be honest. But OWH was a little too big for me, and honestly it didn't smell great. However for an average of $14 per night, it's hard to beat it and that includes a pretty decent breakfast.
The tunnel looking thing is an underground way for folks to cross the street at a major intersection in town. I think it's a brilliant way to get people around safely. There are also shops and toilets underneath too.
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