Post Japan

(I wrote most of this on the way back from Japan on Sunday, July 21, 2019)

I’ve been kinda pissy today.  I know that I’m tired.  I know I’ve got a cold.  And I think I’m a little pissed that I have to leave Japan today.  I guess I don’t HAVE to leave today.  

I could:

Stay

Get fired 

Lose my house

And on and on 

I’m not willing to do any of the above.  So, I’ll stay on this airplane back to the States. 

If anyone has read any of my posts from this trip they would know I had a good time in Japan.  I mean a really, really good time.  I always like to write at the end of my trip.  Interestingly I’m finding myself not wanting to write at this moment.  

And that’s ok too.  I don’t have to judge that.  

However, I think there is something at play here for me today:

Typically when I travel I have an amazing time.  I meet new people.  I see new things.  Try new food.  Learn new things.  Did I mention I have an amazing time?  

With that being true, I typically interpret the experiences I have while traveling as anomalies and think things like:

1.  These types of experiences don’t or can’t happen in my normal life back home.

2.  People in different countries/states are more friendly and accepting than people at home in SC.

The reality is that neither of the above are true.  Here’s the truth:

1.  I have incredible experiences at home in SC.  And, I can have more.

2.  There are friendly, loving, incredible people everywhere....some just speak native languages and/or have different accents than mine. 

Somewhere along the way I learned that I need to hide.  I don’t like that.  I’m not sure where I learned it.  But I exhibit that behavior from time to time.  Oftentimes when someone asks me to do something, my answer is “no.”  I don’t like that.  

The fact is:  I’m more open to people and experiences when I travel.  I’m a “yes” kind of guy when I travel.  That’s why I love to travel.  I can be who I want to be.  I can speak to people.  I can build relationships with people.  I believe there’s a reason for that:  there’s SAFETY in knowing that I may not see them again in my life.  Here's more truth:  I'm hard-wired to be concerned about what others think.  Oftentimes, I make decisions based on what I think other people are thinking, and I get down the road and look back and think, "what am I doing?  I never wanted this."  It's scary.  And I'm aware of it.  And I'm working on it.  And, I'm much better at recognizing that distorted thinking.  

That’s what makes this trip so unique. Pablo made this trip unique for me.  I spent a lot of time with him, met his friends and spent time with them, AND even met his family and spent time with them.  It all still blows me away to think about it....to think about how all of that just happened.  It happened because I spoke to him and he spoke to me.  I said “yes” to his invitation to hang out with him and his buddies.  And off we were.  

And there’s still a part of me that thinks that what happened for me with Pablo, for example, is the anomaly.  Now, let me be honest, I have a hard time believing that I’ll meet another Pablo in my life while traveling.  Someone that open, fun, honest, curious, intelligent, loving and real.  Maybe I will. But I think I’ll be hard-pressed. 

That’s beside the point.  

My point is:   There is still a part of me that feels like I don’t deserve good times and good friends. That I don’t deserve friends like Pablo.  That I don’t deserve loving people in my life like Antonio, Luis, and Pablo’s wife and kids.  

And so I hide.   

I hate that I feel that way and behave that way.  There are people in Columbia that want to hang out with me.  Like truly want to hang out with me.  And oftentimes I prioritize other things over those relationships and over spending time with them.  And that’s a “me” challenge.  (And as I am going back to re-read this before posting, I realize that I don't have to "hate" myself of these types of thoughts and behaviors.  I can accept them.  Accept that there is a little boy inside of me that developed hiding as a strategy to survive.  And I can love and accept that about him/me and realize that I/he am doing the best I/he can.  If this doesn't make any sense, I'd be happy to share more offline about my experience with Little Brian work.)

Travel brings out the best in me.  I get to show up in a different part of the world or US and just be me.  I can take risks without the constant “looking over my shoulderness” (or codependency) that is typically ever-present for me.  That codependency can really cripple me if I allow it and if I listen to the fear associated with it.  Travel allows me to largely, not totally, leave that codependency behind.  And, it's funny, as I was talking with a friend this morning, I realize that one of the biggest fears I have is looking like a fool or looking like an idiot.  And that type of thinking is ALL centered around what others are thinking of me.  And, again, I'm hard-wired to be in tune with what others are thinking.    

I write the above paragraph to say:  I want to be different.  I want to show up differently in Columbia and in the US in general.  I want to forge deeper relationships with the people that care about me and that I care about.  I can do that.  I can allow myself to be accepted for me.  I can remember that I don't have to perform for love or be a certain way in order to be accepted.  That's one reason I like writing like this publicly. I realize that most people don't read this and most don't make it this far.  And that's ok.  But, this is a way for me to publicly tell on myself.  It's risky.  It's risky to put this type of thinking out into the world.  I know that if someone makes it this far they may think, "That dude is weird," or something similar.  And you know what?  They'd be right.  And I'm ok with being different.  I'm ok with being a thinker....a processor.  I love that about me.

Delta has a wonderful promo video they show prior to their safety video.  Which, by the way, their safety video is hilarious yet informative and really holds my attention.  View it here.  The CEO of Delta says a couple of things I love in the promo before the safety video:

1. Travel is the ultimate teacher

2. Travel challenges our beliefs

He says more, but these are the two that stuck out to me.  I love both of those statements and especially the first one when it comes to this trip.  

It happened again for me.  I hopped on a plane, landed in another part of the world and I learned.  I learned about a new part of the world.  I learned about people.  I learned about myself.  I was rejuvenated.  My lighthouse light was lighted again. 

Sam Glenn is a motivational speaker that I had the distinct pleasure to hear four years ago.  See some of his work here.  But, he talked about that we all have our light go out from time to time.  And it's up to us to light it again.  My light got lit again by travel, and I'm terribly and extraordinarily thankful to have had the opportunity to do this.

I'm thankful for:

• Pablo and his family
• Luis, Antonio and the two Japanese women at Hub
• Eric
• Yasu and Kumi at Docheche in Okayama.
• Isabelle
• Tanaka at Tanaka Guesthouse in Kyoto
• The Japanese man at the first restaurant I stopped in for lunch in Tokyo
• The woman in Kyoto smiling and dancing in the rain
• The Japanese people in general.  I learned so much about respect and true caring for humans from them throughout my time in Japan.

I'm thankful to have seen and done many things:

• Seeing Teresa in Kyoto Station was a real hoot.  Had to come to Japan to see a high school classmate!
• Riding the Shinkansen (Bullet Train)....incredible way to travel.
• Eating amazing takoyaki, sashimi, ramen, gyoza, yakisoba, okonomiyaki (this was my favorite.  Pablo and I had it in Kyoto Station one evening), carepan, eating comfort food at Lawson's and Familymart, oden soup for breakfast and more.  Oh and eating Kobe Beef.  What a wonderful lunch that was.
• Seeing Fushimi-Nari, Senso-Ji and Nezu Shinto Shrines (and others) and many Buddhist Temples throughout the country.
• Sitting in Higashi-Honganji Temple in Kyoto.  This was my first experience of peace and quiet in a traditional Buddhist Temple and something that I won't soon forget.
• Spending the day in Kurashiki with Pablo's family.
• Seeing the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.
• Visiting the onsen public bath in Kyoto.
• Discovering the world of Train Station Lockers.  Game.  Changer.
• Playing music in Okayama.  Still hard to believe that happened.  What a night.
• Communicating with Luis via Google Translate in Kyoto.
• Taking the boat trip with Pablo
• Stopping and pausing at Tenryu-Ji Temple in Arashiyama.
• and much, much more.

I put those lists there for my memory.  

I realized something a long time ago when traveling.  Yes, it's cool to see things, experience new foods, new cultures, and all of the new things that come with travel.

But.

It's the people.  It's the people that move the meter for me.  It's the people that create something special for me.  It was the people that I came into contact with that created an amazing Japan experience for me.  I love people.  I love having fun with people.  Connecting with them.  Talking with them.  Experiencing life with them.  It was through them that I was able to learn about myself.  To see things open up within me.

It's still hard for me to believe this trip happened the way it did for me.  I'm in awe of it all.  Of everything.  Of everyone.  

Thank you for following on this journey.  It's so helpful for me to write.  To get my thoughts out.  Thank you for being a part of this with me.  Oh, and that part at the beginning of this post where I said I didn't feel like writing?  That happens from time to time.  And yet, when I put "pen to paper," usually the words flow and flow.

I wish you peace and connection.

More photos can be viewed here.

Picture This

Picture this:

A big, sweaty American steps in the Yokohama Baystars gear store.

Ok in this story I'm the big, sweaty American so I'll continue:

I see a jersey I'd like to purchase. I see sizes S and M and quickly dismiss those, obviously. I see L and then O.

I'm an O

That's not the point.

As I asked the attendant what O meant, e proceeded to graciously show me a sample O and motioned for me to try it on.

He then held my drink AND my bag.

I struggled to get the jersey on because of my watch.....and maybe my stomach, so from behind me ANOTHER gentleman gently helps me put on the jersey.

And that's just some of the magic of Japan and of the Japanese people.

Japan has welcomed me with open arms and as I sit outside of Yokohama stadium, I'm sad to think about leaving tomorrow.

But: I will be back. And, I'm going to enjoy this game!

See more of my travels at roseoverexposed.blogspot.com

Hasta Luego

I said "see you later" to Pablo today as he hopped a Shinkansen bullet train to go be with his family.

He and I toured around the Ueno area today and found really cool, local spots. It didn't feel like we were in Tokyo as it was really quiet and peaceful.

Absolutely loved my time with Pablo and his family during my trip here.

Pablo, Antonio, Luis and I all hung out last night too.

You know me, I'll write more on these guys sometime in the coming days. These guys are the best.

And in thinking about Pablo, his directness is something I really appreciate about him. He actually tells me what he's thinking. And I know when he says he wants to hang out with me, I know that he actually wants to hang out with me.

Here's what Melody Beattie said today about directness:

Remind Me

....To tell you about what the Spaniards taught me about swirling a glass.

That is all.

Foot Bath Outside of the Bay Hotel Ginza?

Yes please.

Seriously. In a City if 14 Million Plus?

....what are the chances that our group of Pablo, Luis, Antonio and I would arrive at this market at EXACTLY the same time as Eric (whom I met and hung out with when I first got to Tokyo)?

I'm not sure what the chances are, but I would imagine I would have a greater chance at winning the powerball and mega millions in the same week.

Dang, I should have played the lottery because Eric and another hostelmate walked in right ahead of us. It was awesome to reconnect and tell him all about my time in Kyoto which he'll be going to in the coming weeks.

All six of us walked through the market for a bit and then went our separate ways. I may get to see him again before I leave Sunday. Yes. Don't remind me. Sunday.

The four of us then walked around Tokyo for the balance of the day stopping in shops, having lunch and going through the Tokyo version of Times Square.

I'm back at the capsule hotel I'm staying in doing some laundry before heading out to dinner.

The heat is here in Tokyo!

That Time I Met Pablo's Family In Kurashiki

Simple title. Amazing day.

Not sure who Pablo is?  Peruse a few posts back.

And seriously, how fun of a word is "peruse?"  It's functional yet bourgeois, fun yet inpersonal.

Ok enough of that.

Today.  Wow.  Today I met Pablo's wife, his two kids and his wife's friend.  I'm going to leave their names out just to protect anonymity. They have nothing to hide. I just don't trust this internet thing sometimes.

The funny thing about not having a plan and places to be is that I can do things like I did yesterday:
Leave Kyoto
Take the bullet train west to Hiroshima
Take the bullet train back east to Okayama
Book a hostel on the train
Play guitar in a restaurant and have the time of my life
Go to bed

....and then wake up today and met Pablo's family for a walking tour of Kurashiki.  What a hilarious and eventful day it was.  His kids are the most energetic kids I've been around in a long time AND multilingual:  they speak Spanish and are learning Japanese and English.  Me?  Oh. I know English.

His wife is uber-impressive. She grew up in Japan, moved to Ireland to learn English and then learned Spanish AFTER moving to Spain with Pablo.  So today she spoke all three languages in the group as her friend's English wasn't great. She exudes peace and tranquillity.  Never too high.  Never too low. And if you knew Pablo you would know that they balance each other quite well. (Both have told me that).

Her friend was super as well. Very friendly and personable and for someone that says her English isn't great, she spoke it pretty well.

We toured around Kurashiki stopping in shops, a museum, had green tea at a cafe, had lunch and stopped in an old, traditional Japanese house which was really neat to see.

All of that was cool for me.  But you know me, oh fictional reader.....you know I like conversation.  And it was fascinating hearing more about his wife's life growing up and what life is like now.  Oh and by the way, she needs the  mother of the year award as her two boys were running full throttle all day long and she just calmly kept her cool.  She raised her voice one time when one was in slight danger of a car.  Otherwise she let them be boys which I thought was awesome.

A day like today doesn't happen without the following:
Travel
Hostels
Speaking to people in hostels
Curiosity
And yep:  showing up

A day like today can't be found in any online itinerary or travel book.

A day like today is just what I want from travel:
To be around people just talking and learning and sharing.

Like seriously, how lucky am I? I hung out with people who, just 9 hours earlier, were complete strangers. And now, at the end of the visit to hear her say, "Anytime....you are welcome with us in Spain.".....wow.

My first thoughts when I hear that are:
"What?  Are you kidding me?"

I now know that those thoughts are born out of that old, distorted belief system:
That u don't belong
That people don't want to be around me
That I can't be me
That I need to perform for love
That I don't deserve good things

But here's the really:
I do belong. I do deserve good things.  I do deserve to be happy.  And I can love others.  I can share with others.  I can do life with others and enjoy the ride.

....just like I did today.

Thank you guys for another amazing and incredible day in Japan.

Couldn't Make It Up If I Tried

I arrived in Okayama last night a little after 7 and was super hungry. I walked the 500 meters from the station to the hostel and on the way passed an awesome looking tiny little restaurant that I wanted to try.  So after checking and meeting the two German guys in my room at the hostel  (which by the way takes me back to freshman year.....and it is awesome), I walked back to Docheche, the restaurant I had passed on the way. I have more pictures I can try and upload later.  Technology has been a little bit of a challenge the last 24 hours.

I walked in and noticed there were seats for about 14 people, give or take 0.  There was also a guitar in the corner.  I love live music by the way.

I ordered dinner and it was incredible.  I started communicating with the cook who didn't speak much English.  We used Google Translate a little.  I asked him if anyone was playing tonight. He asked if I played and I said "only a little."  The gentleman to my left then piped up and he stated that he played a little.  The woman that was also working there then started speaking English and encouraged us to play after we finished eating.

So.  I finished eating and within about 30 seconds the cook brought out two more guitars and handed one to me and one to the other guy.  He said "blues?"  So I started playing a couple of bluesy chords and off we went into a world of music, fun, energy and connection.  And by the way, BOTH of them were EXCELLENT guitar players.  They are on the level of my friend Pete.

I was in heaven.  I mean.  Seriously.  Here I am in Okayama, Japan with two locals that barely speak English and yet we are able to connect through music.  I can't explain in words how much I enjoyed it.  Let's be clear:  I'm an average AT BEST guitar player and both of these guys can rip it up, and yet they were super gracious to me and helped me learn some new things while being able to play along with them.

There is something about playing music that brings people together.  It created a space for me to be creative and to PLAY with both of these guys.  I felt lighter and happier once we were done playing.

We played about three long jams and the customer that played with us left.

That's when the cook, the woman (who turned out to be his girlfriend) and I started talking. Kumi and  Yasu were their names with the latter being the male.  I know I'm butchering their spellings but it's as close as I can get.

We talked music, about their lives and businesses (they live above the restaurant), South Carolina and my life and it was awesome.  Simply awesome.

Here's me telling on myself:  I have passed countless restaurants during my time here because of fear.  Yep. And not because I was afraid of the people and getting hurt.  No.  Although that happens from time to time.  No.  This fear had to do with me looking like a fool.  The fear that this American boy was going to annoy the restaurant folks.

So.

Last night I stepped in one of the restaurants.  And guess what?  Yep. It was awkward.  And yep it was freaking awesome.  The truth is that it is REALLY difficult to communicate with Japanese folks that don't speak much English.   Last night was one of those nights.  And yet Kumi  did the best she could talking with me and translating for Yasu and I employed a little Google Translate to help as well.  (Pro tip:  download the language of the county or counties visiting before getting there so it can be used offline.  You're welcome.). Even with the awkwardness and the times that they couldn't understand me and vice versa, there was still connection.  Fun.  And lots of it.

Yasu and I played a few more songs together.  I showed him and played some of the artists that I love right now (David Ramirez, Amos Lee, and I also played a little Ray Lamontagne for him.....hysterically he nailed Ray's last name on his first shot).  Kumi and I connected on Facebook. And I called it a night after a long day of travel and sightseeing.

It was time for pictures and Kumi started to wonder how we were all going to fit in the picture.  Oh yeah, she wanted the four other ladies that were in the restaurant to be in the picture. So I just flipped my camera around and lifted my hand in the air to show her we could do it.  Her reaction was priceless:  she said "ohhhhhhhhhh wowwwwwww," like I was 7 feet tall.  Cracks me up still to think about it and to look at the picture.

With pictures taken, it was time to say goodbye.  And say goodbye we did, vowed to stay in touch and I left.  I left the restaurant.

I got about 25 feet from the restaurant and Yasu calls my name and runs down the street towards me.  I figured I had forgotten my wallet.  And yet he hands me a pen.  Like a click writing pen.  I told him I thought it was his, that I didn't leave it behind.   He said, "No, no.  Gift."

I'm feeling so much as I relive this story.  I feel loved.  Accepted.  Warm.   Yasu gave me a pen.  He could have given me a napkin for all I care.  But for him to give me something from the heart means the absolute world to me.

I'm tempted to make a generalization about all Japanese people here, rather I'm just going to speak about Yasu and Kumi.  They are two of the most lovable and welcoming creatures I've ever encountered on this earth.  They provided me with one of the greatest nights I have ever had while traveling.....possibly ever. And to think:  had I listened to my fear, I would have never met them. I would have never felt love and given love to them. I showed up. And that happened.  I showed up.  And magic happened.  I'm not saying that I'm magic, no.  I'm just saying I learned last night that showing up as Brian.....like really showing up.....magic happens. Last night it happened in the form of music and laughter and connection.  The next time?  Who knows.  Here's the good news:  I don't have to control nor label what happens.

I can just show up and experience.

So Inexpensive

Largely I have found Japan to be very much on the inexpensive side. I just purchased the biggest bottle of water ever and a small fruit smoothie at the 7-11 (yep. 7-11s are everywhere) and it was only $2.32.

Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum (Graphic Images)

Every now and again I have moments that I know I won’t need this blog to remember.  Today, another moment like that happened.

I finally left Kyoto after being there for 4 nights.  I treasured my time there, but it was time to move on.  I hopped the Shinkansen to Hiroshima, the first city an atomic bomb was ever dropped.  The bomb detonated August 6, 1945.  

Hiroshima is also home to the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.  

Let me take a quick diversion:  Teresa asked me the other night, “Why come to Japan?”  My answer to her was, “I wanted to go somewhere in Asia and I found a cheap flight, so here I am.”  Reading between the lines, one would see that I had no real base of knowledge of Japan before coming here except for a few things, one of which was the first atom bomb being dropped at Hiroshima. I say all of that to say this:  I didn’t know a Memorial existed until I was on the plane here from Detroit. But that’s how I travel.   That’s how I learn.  There is only so much cramming I can do before a trip.  

At any rate, the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum is incredible.  I had a similar feeling walking through the museum today as I had at the Holocaust Museum and also at Auschwitz.  More thoughts later on that.  But, the museum itself is easily the cleanest and well-laid out museums I’ve ever been to.  Entry is only 200 Yen (around $2) and am audio tour device is only 400 Yen (around $4).  I have inserted some images below.  Some are graphic. I’ve left a lot out because if anyone reads this, my desire is for them to experience this museum themselves.  

There was a very intentional, seemingly, move from darkness surrounding the exhibits showing destruction to light around the exhibits talking about the rebuilding of Hiroshima and their commitment to peace. 

That’s where I got stuck a little.  

Peace?  Really?  A bomb was dropped that killed 140,000 people and damaged far more people in ways that are too gruesome to describe and you’re telling me you’re committed to peace and also a world in which no more nuclear war happens?  Really?  

Yes. 

That’s the Japanese people, in my opinion.  Peace.  Peaceful.  Warm.  Welcoming. 

The images, video and the stories shown in the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum were as graphic as I’ve ever seen.  And yet. And yet, they are committed to peace.  

The way this museum tells the story of the bomb, from the mechanics of it to that fateful day it was dropped, to the present day world nuclear deals amongst nations and the current information on the threat of nuclear war is so clear even I could understand it.  The exhibits are highly advanced technologically and very interesting to interact with. I can’t recommend this museum enough to anyone that can make it here.  

As stated above, I didn’t plan on seeing a museum like this.  Heck, I didn’t even know it existed until my flight over.  But I’m honored to have seen the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.  

I can’t help but think about a few things after seeing what I’ve seen today:

We’re all one people.  Humans are capable of so much destruction.  And what’s it all for?  It’s scary to me to think about how The Holocaust happened.  The events leading up to that were minuscule in the beginning and then a few years later, millions of people were being murdered.  And listen, I’m not here to argue that the bomb shouldn’t have been dropped on Hiroshima (and the subsequent bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki), I’m just here thinking about my time in Japan.  My time of meeting people from around the world.  People that are just doing the best they can just like me.  People that are loving and wonderful creatures. And to think that humans would have the capability to inflict so much destruction upon one another.  It’s hard to fathom.  And I’m just talking about one genocide and two atom bombs.  There are plenty more examples of what humans can do to each other to inflict mass harm.  

I think about the people that were on Aioi Bridge, the target of the bomb dropped in Hiroshima, and I think those people that were just living their lives, walking to work, walking to wherever and then for them to hear, see and feel the power of humans to destroy one another exploding 600 meters above their heads.  It’s just hard for me to imagine.  That’s all.  

And yet, Hiroshima’s commitment moving forward?  

Peace.