You Are Welcome

This is a different kind of post. 

Posting, by the way, I've learned a lot about recently. But I digress. 

Normally when I'm traveling I'm writing about what I experience for my memory, and with my last few trips, I have dipped my toes into the waters of vulnerability to share what I learn about myself when I travel. Sharing publicly about the misbeliefs I carry about myself, others and the world has been really helpful. If you're interested in some of those posts, I would direct you to this post from my travels to Japan about hiding, this one from Europalooza about intentions, and this one from Cuba. There are others, but hopefully you find those helpful.  

Delta Airlines CEO Ed Bastian and his marketing team seem to be really dialed in these days. In a post from a few years back I talked about how his preflight video message of how travel challenges beliefs, and that travel is the ultimate teacher really struck a chord with me. The preflight video on this summer's trip speaks about breaking out of a rut with travel and seeing the colors of the world through travel. I love this so much. 

This summer I traveled, like REALLY traveled, for the first time since 2019. Now, let me be honest. I don't think I have been in too much of a rut (maybe a tiny one in some areas of my life). In the past four years I have done some really cool things (look up Pilot's License in the Dictionary and there I will be). 

But, let me be clear:  This trip was needed.

Now, let me circle back to my opening preface for a moment. I'm not going to talk about the things that I did, the places I saw, how long I was gone, the people I met, the food I ate, nor anything else logistically-related to this trip. 

I took a trip. The trip was needed. And I learned. 

Holy crap did I learn.

I learned from those I traveled with. Those I met along the way. I learned from myself. I learned about others.

 

I learned about myself. 

There is nothing like travel, being in a different part of the world, being around different people, a different culture, to allow me to look at myself in a fresh light. I suspect I "fall asleep" to myself when I'm back home, in a way. When I'm in my routine. And that makes it harder to see the lessons that are presenting themselves. 

Without the structure of my house, my work, my routines and other, I've been able to take a different look at some misbeliefs I have about myself and the world.  The main themes are still the same for me:

• I don't have to prove I'm worthy.  I'm worthy of love as I am.  There's nothing for me to DO to earn love.  I'm accepted just as I am, wants and all. 

• What I want IS important.  I can state those wants. And I can have what I want.  I deserve to have what I want.

• I belong.  I don't have to make myself an outcast for any reason at all.  And trust me.  I can find the reasons if I look. 

• I don't have to be perfect. 

• I can ask for help. I don't have to do everything by myself. Asking for help can actually bring others joy. 

• Conflict and friction are triggers.  Do I want to show up as me and realize that people may not like all of me?  Or do I want to be a chameleon and morph into who I think others want me to be.  I've done the latter a lot.  Maybe it's time for me to practice stepping out more and saying what I think, feel, want and need.  And then work out any differences that come up.  

Whew there is a lot there. 

Now, I'd like to pivot slightly and discuss three words in the rest of this post.  And those three words form a phrase that a lot of us say. I know I've said it and I haven't given too much thought as to why I say it. 

Normally when someone says "Thank you" it is reciprocated with "You are welcome." Right? Sounds familiar. You've said it. I've said it. We've all heard it. But, why is it "You are welcome?" I mean really. 

The internet is littered with different theories about the origins of "you are welcome." And let me tell you, the 24 seconds of research I just did was exhausting. So I'm not going to discuss those theories here.

I'm simply going to talk about those three words that were spoken to me as I entered the Air India Lounge at JFK. 

I scanned in with my Priority Pass (Get it. Don't wait. Just get it. You'll thank me. And yes, you are welcome), walked into the lounge, surveyed the area to get a lay of the land, and a small, presumably Indian man said, "Hello sir. You are welcome."

I was stunned. 

I looked in his eyes, and found that he really meant it. I mean, he really meant it. 

You are welcome.

He then helped me find a seat in the crowded lounge, and for the past 20 minutes or so I have watched him walk around, painstakingly doing his job of taking care of customers and now he is locked in a conversation with a traveler.

You are welcome. 

The danger of writing is that you can't really HEAR how he said it, and how I HEARD it. So let me try to explain it.

He said: YOU are welcome.

That's not quite it. It was more like you ARE welcome.

Almost. I think it was more like: You. Are. Welcome.

Or maybe it was a combination of all of the above. 

Here's the thing. I felt seen. I felt loved. I felt accepted. I felt like I could be me. 

Now, listen, those are things I'm working on generating myself. However, while traveling, things can be a little hectic. 

I haven't slept much the last 24 hours. I've been navigating airports. I've been crammed into airplane seats between people I don't know. I've gone through US Customs. And so to walk into yet another unfamiliar place and here "You. Are. Welcome." Wow. It was incredibly powerful. It's blown open some more space to be more kind and loving to myself. More kind and loving to others. It's just what I needed. 

There were several times on this trip that I put myself in the "I'm not welcome" circle. No one did that to me. I did that to myself. I generated that. Thankfully I have enough awareness these days to catch myself doing that to me fairly quickly. And when I'm really spiraling I have kind, loving and honest people I can call to help point out some truth that I need to hear. Thank you to L, C, R and D for being there for me. You modeled "You. Are. Welcome." for me. 

This is the thing I want to bring back from this trip. A deeper level of WELCOME for myself as well as a deeper level of WELCOME of other people. There is not much room for judgment, separation and isolation when "You. Are. Welcome." is present. Possibly there is no room for judgment at all. There is love. Connection. Fun. Acceptance. All of the things I've been longing for and I suspect that we are all longing for. 

I feel it right now. I am welcome. I am welcome here. I'm writing in an Air Indian Lounge. And I'm welcome. I am loved. I don't have to DO anything. I don't have to LOOK a certain way. I don't have to BE anyone that I'm not.

I. Am. Welcome. 

I wonder what issues in the world would be resolved if we all generated, first, welcome for ourselves and then welcome for everyone we come into contact with.

I want others to experience this feeling.