Sunday, June 17, 2018

Nick

Last night I got to enjoy dinner with a man(and his girlfriend) that I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for 12 years(almost a third of my life.....look at my hairline, my gray hair and just do the math).   

Nick ran for me when I first got the Cross Country job at Ridge View back in 2006, and I had the pleasure of coaching him for several years and then had the amazing experience of having him on my staff as an Assistant Coach AND then had the chance to watch him do wonders as the head XC coach when I got the AD job.  To say we’ve spent a large amount of time together would be an understatement.  

Life is funny sometimes, and I’ve learned a lot about principles lately(i.e. the principle of sowing and reaping, and so on).  A principle I’ve come to believe and accept is:  that I learn more from those around me than I could ever imagine teaching them.  And guess what?  I’m a trained teacher. 

One of those teachers for me has been Nick.  As a young and inexperienced head Cross Country coach, I leaned heavily on Nick and his ideas about the direction of our program.  (Which takes me to another principle:  Giving team members input into the process and direction of the team contributes GREATLY to the members feeling like they have ownership of the team and therefore increases buy in which, in my opinion, is what all coaches are striving for.   Stated another way:  a team that only listens to the coach or of fear of consequences or fear of letting the leader down will only go so far.  But, rather a team that cares about each other and each other’s development while contributing to the direction of the team will continue to grow each and everyday.  That’s the type of group of runners that we had while I coached and it was due, in large part, to Nick and what he taught me about listening to members of the team.) Nick cared an extraordinary amount about the team but, more than that, about his fellow teammates and their development.  On that team, he was a leader in the truest sense of the word.  To me, a leader is a person that asks:  “What can I do today to help you reach your dreams?”  Nick epitomized that as a runner and as a coach.  That quality can be taught, I’m sure, however Nick had it innately, and it was a huge learning experience for me to see it on the front lines.  

Nick has also taught me about perseverance.  He recently completed a goal and dream that he set out to complete years ago.  And, through some adversity, he focused on getting what he wanted.  And he did it, and I couldn’t be happier for him.  

Fast forward to this past Thursday.  As I was about to step on a plane to Denver, I got a text from Nick stating that he was having a great time touring Colorado.  The timing was incredible. My response:  “Great!  Where are you in Colorado?  I’m flying to Denver in about 10 minutes.”

That was met with a “Whattttttttt!” that I couldn’t help but read in my head in Nick’s voice.  

We were able to meet up last night in the Lower Highlands area of Denver at a spot called Linger which featured the world’s most honest waiter(like seriously, one of the first things he did was tell us “this item and this item really are not that good).  It was a pleasure to spend time with Nick and his wonderful girlfriend Kaytee hearing about their travels, catching up, and talking about vision. It was a rich conversation that I am extremely thankful to have had on my last night in Colorado.  

I was, yet again, taught by Nick(as well as Kaytee!) about the importance of knowing who I am, knowing what I like to do and giving myself permission to just “be.”  I was reminded that I live in a world that tells me I have to achieve, achieve, achieve and perform, perform, perform.  The lesson I’ve learned the hard way(and I’m thankful for that by the way) is that I’m ok.  I’m acceptable.  I don’t have to perform to be loved.  I don’t have to achieve to be loved.  I’m defined by more than what I do.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and yet I’m not Brian the Athletic Director.  I’m Brian. And that’s enough.  God made me, and if I can operate out of that truth I come to realize that approval by anyone on Earth isn’t really what I’m after.  What I’m looking for is true connection. And I’m learning that that connection can come about in a myriad of ways for me:  spending time reading, writing, meditating, being of service, talking/laughing with friends(like last night), getting out in nature, hopping on a plane, getting around like-minded people that challenge me, dancing(yep I discovered this one last weekend in Florida), deep conversation and more ways that I’m forgetting right now and some that I’ll discover some other time I’m sure. 

All that being said, I think the world of Nick and am extremely thankful to have known him like I have.  It was awesome meeting up with him and Kaytee last night as I was yet again encouraged. I get the feeling that life is more about these types of moments than about any grandiose thing I THINK I should be doing.  Maybe life is about being around those I love and care for and trying to be the best version of myself along the way.  Sounds pretty good to me. 

2 comments:

  1. Yes it does :-) I am so glad I clicked on this and got to read it! I think I was smiling the entire time so thankful for all you learned and are learning and for the great program that y'all handed down to us it's interesting because when we had our coaching staff meeting earlier this summer part of our vision was established as an acronym of family I'll try to invite you when we go over it if you can't make it let me know and I will give you the details but Justin and Sierra were both able to articulate My overarching Philosophy in cross-country is that it's the kids team and my job is merely to train them we want to give them as much ownership as possible so I found that pretty cool to read how similarly we think compared to what you handed down to us

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  2. WOW! And thats after reading only your first entry.
    I'm so proud to call you "friend".

    Sincerely,
    Liz

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