It Tends To Happen

It seems I've written posts like this about many of my trips. Even if that is the case, I'm writing another one. 

I have needed a haircut for many days. I needed one before I left on this trip. And I've been gone for 16 days. 

Walking down the streets of Tirana, Albania (which, by the way, Albania has been really cool in the esthetic sense….temperature-wise though: HOT) today I was on the hunt for a barber. 

Side note: I have had some really fun and good haircuts away from home over the years. One in Brooklyn a few years back, Indianapolis at a Final Four and one in Bergen, Norway last summer. Shoutout to my guy Rodi. 

I wasn't looking for just any barber. I wanted to find an experienced barber. Not necessarily an older person, but I knew what I was looking for and it wasn't a hip, trendy barber of which there were a good many in Tirana.  

It seems that the right barber is like finding a cat.  They just seem to find you.  I passed a barbershop that looked like it might be the one.  Walked in.  A barber was cutting a man’s hair, no one was waiting and a barber was hanging out not cutting.  I asked if they had availability and the response was, “We’re busy.”

No problem.  

That wasn’t my barber.  

Next, I walked into Eddy's Unisex Hair Salon. Yep. That's the name of it. And I knew immediately I had found the barber I was looking for. 

Eddy was in a barber chair tapping on his cell phone. Anticipating that he didn't speak great English, I made the motion for haircut (insert your own image/GIF) and asked if he had availability. In perfect English, he said "Yes, I am available," with a smile. 

I sat down and proceeded to be transported into a story of struggle, freedom, and, as Eddy pointed out continually: luck. 

Even though I would love to, I'm not going share the details of his story here. Just know I won't ever forget his story, and I'll be happy to share it with you next time I see you. Or better yet, get to Tirana and go see Eddy.  

The hair cut you ask?

Amazing. No disrespect to the barbers in my past, but this is the best haircut I have ever received.  He took his time.  Like really took his time while he weaved his story together.   Went around my head many times and produced a result that I’m extremely happy with.  

To Eddy, thank you. Thank you for our chat we had in the chair, the time you took with my hair to clean me up, and the chat we had afterwards on the sidewalk. 

Powerful doesn't begin to describe my time with Eddy. He reminded me to keep moving forward. That life isn't a straight line. That stepping out, taking risks, good relationships and being myself are key. 

I'm on vacation. Travel Brian appeared. I've been away from the routine of my regular life for 16 days, and I got lost in Tirana for 45 minutes with a wonderful human. "Lost" is the best word I can find to describe the feeling I had. Standing on a sidewalk outside of his barbershop lost in conversation. Listening. Relating. Truly feeling someone else.

It took 16 days for me to relax. Don't get me wrong. I've been relaxed in a lot of ways. I've toured. Seen sights. Experienced new things. 

But, as I walked away from Eddy, down that Albanian street, I felt lighter. Walking was easy. Looking around was easy.  Listen. I get it. I know this likely makes zero sense to you. 

But it does to me. 

I experienced presence. I was there. 

Brian

By now you may know that my name is Brian.  Brian is also the name of my caddy at Troon on _____day.  

As I sit here on _____day, I can't remember what day we played there.  Nor do I know what day it is now.  And, no, thank you, I am not going to look at my electronic calendar on my phone even though I'm typing this on my phone.  

I am successfully lost in vacation.  For me that means I am here.  In St. Andrews, Scotland.  Having a great time.  With some great guys.  And I don't know what day it is, nor do I want to know anything else outside of what time our van leaves to take us to Dunbarnie for today's round.  

Feeling that way is such a stark contrast to the world of deadlines.  Management.  Calendars.  Start times.  And more that I live in normally.  So yes, I'm good with not knowing what day it is.  

The trip has been amazing.  

I chose the picture of Brian, my caddy above, because being with him for 4+ hours at Troon (which was simply a magical experience) felt like the first time I really spent time with a true local.  A local I had a hard time understanding.  Yes, English is spoken here.  You'll understand once you get here.  

Brian was the best.  He's been caddying for 40 years.  He watched me swing one time and said, "I have your game figured out."   And he did.  

He was a perfect combination of honest and encouraging.  Never got too high.  Never got too low.  

He believed in me.  And he had just met me.  

He was unbothered.  Quick.  Straight to the point.  Told me to just enjoy.  

And I did.  

The day at Troon was a perfect mixture of this trip and the things I love about travel:  Being in a new place.  Talking with locals.  Enjoying local food and drink.  

We had the opportunity to play match play (ChatGPT it.  (That's fair right?  ChatGPT is slowly replacing the verb phrase "Google it" it seems)) against a Troon member.  My guy was very fun.  And a very good player.  And I won my match which was great. 

And Brian is a lot of the reason I won.  He kept me in the road.  He was the voice of strength and encouragement that I needed when things weren't going my way.  And in a round of golf, similar to real life, things don't always go your/my way.  

He always had the right thing to say.  Sometimes it stung.  But that was what I needed.  Sometimes he helped me see the bright side of things.  And that was what I needed too.  

He spoke of his kids.  Grandkids.  And great grandkids.  He spoke of living close to family.  Of caddying. 

And he rolled his own cigarettes.  

Many times.   

And that was fun to watch too. 

Brian, you're a good man.  I appreciate your honesty, care, kindness and your energy the other day.  

Lost in NY Update Part 1

Hey fans, we left off last night with a plan of flying from LaGuardia to Boston and the Boston to Edinburgh.  We put in a request to have our bags shipped back from Atlanta so we could fly with them.  

The plan has changed.  

Since our bags are still in Atlanta (yep), we are now booked on the JFK to EDI flight at 9:15pm.  

For those keeping score at home, that is the same flight we got canceled on two nights ago.  

Now, listen, don't inject your negativity here.  We need your positive thoughts.  Your thoughts of, "You know what, I bet they will make it AND their bags will make it too!"

Thank you for that.  You're really kind.  

We are now waiting at the LGA area to see if Folonne, yet another VERY helpful Delta agent, can work some magic.  Meirenne worked some considerable magic on the Delta text line to get us rebooked to the flight tonight.  

Onward and upward!  We will keep you posted.  

Mirror Selfies and Affecting Reality

Lots of things in this world are rare:

1.  A Queen Alexandra's Birdwing Butterfly siting 

2.  Complete flight cancellations at 1:30am, standing in lines for 3 hours to be rebooked and checking into hotels at 4:30am. 

3.  And me taking mirror selfies. 

Well, two of the three happened last night as we navigated our flight into (and not out of) New York's JFK. 

What an experience.  Our flight was delayed an hour.  We taxied out only be delayed by fog (visibly was a beautiful 1/4 SM with an RVR of 1600-2200……meaning it was hard to see your hand in front of your face), taxied back for fuel and then to hear our pilots say, "we have exceeded our duty time."

As a fellow passenger said, "It's like something out of a movie." And in his best Planes, Trains and Automobiles voice he said, "I just need to get home for Thanksgiving."

Even though I was exhausted, I did chuckle.  

It really was a fascinating experience.   Being utterly exhausted and trying to navigate the cancellation was a challenge.  

And standing in the line to be rebooked for at least three hours I got to practice something David and I talk from time to time.  David you ask?  My coach.  He's amazing. 

The idea is this:  why waste time and energy feeling bad about something?  I mean, yes, the flight was canceled.  Be disappointed.  

But quickly get to being solutions-oriented.  Like really, what is being mad at the situation, angry at the people around me or victimy about the situation going to do to fix the issue?  

Correct.  Nothing.  

And. If I do choose to get angry or whatever, then feel it fully.  But then move on and get to moving.  

That's responsibility.  

We left JFK around 4:30am, checked into Yotel (pictured) and slept until around 10am (my crazy hair also pictured).  

And here's the thing:  waking up in midtown Manhattan on a beautiful morning isn't half bad.   We walked to Los Tacos (seriously, do it next time you're in NY), hopped an Uber to LaGuardia to make our way to Atlanta to catch with our bags 

The ins and outs of this story continue.  After getting rebooked today from LGA to ATL and then ATL to EDI, a thunderstorm here at LGA forced our inbound flight to divert to Providence (correct that is not here).  Sooooooooo we are now going to miss our connection in Edinburgh.  

At the time of this typing, we are now delayed from LGA to ATL until 11pm.  Update now 11:57pm (lol). 

Sooooooooo we will now fly from Atlanta to Boston tomorrow afternoon and Boston to Edinburgh in the evening.  

Today has been exhausting.  My body is feeling it.  My eyes are glazing over.  But I'm here.  And we are working together.  Figuring things out.  Making decisions.  Doing the best we can.  

Has the day gone the way I wanted to go?  No.  And the day has unfolded the way it has.  

And that's the point.  For me, I'm doing the best I can to be present, problem solve, be kind, ask for what I need.  And it's created some really beautiful connections.  Folks at the airport like Kevin, Jamel, Ann and others have been incredibly helpful.  And I can't help but think that our energy of "oh well, what's next to tackle?" has helped us navigate the challenges in community with others.  

It's as I've learned:

Problem only exists if I'm isolated.  If I'm connected, then it's a challenge. 

Anywho (yes I am tired if I'm using the word "anywho"), I'll keep you, the proverbial you, informed.  

Forward.  Keep moving forward.   

About Sevilla

(Created June 19, 2024 and posted June 18, 2025)

(Yep. One year almost to the day later)

Ok. I'm back.  As promised here is a post about the things I did in Sevilla.  

Pablo and I are likeminded people.  We love travel, authentic experiences, good food, having fun and learning about different languages and cultures.  So being with him in Sevilla was perfect for me.  I got to do exactly what I wanted to do and that was to experience the city like a local.  

Upon arriving we sat in his living room, caught up, talked with his wife and played with his baby son all while his teenage boys were in and out of the apartment.  

That evening we went for a sightseeing walk around Triana (his neighborhood), had traditional tapas, and went to the Alamerda area of Sevilla to meet up with Luis, Fernando (Antonio's brother) and his friend Ema.  As you may know, Luis and Antonio were traveling with Pablo in 2019.  I got the chance to speak with Antonio via phone since he wasn't there and my guy Luis, of course, with Google Translate.  I look forward to the day that either I know enough Spanish or he knows enough English that we can talk without the help of this technology.  He is such a kind-hearted and loving man.   

(This is where I realized I never finished the post.  Such a promising start too, wasn't it?   So I'll finish it now)

To be with my old friends Pablo and Luis in their native land almost five years later than when we met was truly a pleasure.  Even one year later, I remember sitting at that outdoor table.  Laughing.  Giggling.  Sharing.  Listening.  

To be able to see Pablo's family and stay in their apartment was amazing.  I lived like a local.  A kind.  Fun. And loving local.  And I ate cheese in their kitchen.  Amazing cheese.  

Time flew this work year.  I barely talked with Pablo.  But I was able to video call with him a week or so ago and show him and his family a little bit of what I do for work.  "Big" they all said as I stood in the USC football practice facility.  

Big it is, y'all.  Big it is.  

At the Starting Line

I am at the starting line again.  The starting line of a trip.  Out of the country.  Into another part of the world.  I'll be honest, oh reader you, it doesn't feel real that I'll be traveling for a while.  And.  It's here.  It's about that time.  

I miss writing while I travel.  It helps me process.  And it's also tricky for me.  Am I writing so you see me?  So you approve of me?  

Or am I writing to share and create connection. 

If I see I can do the latter, then I'll see you here.  

The Morning Walk

I was fortunate to work with The University of South Carolina Men's Basketball team as a Graduate Assistant between the years of 2004-2006.  The experiences I had then were rich beyond measure and probably need to be the subject a book of stories one day.  And as the author Byron Katie would say, "Drop the 'probably.'"

If memory serves me correctly, it was during that second season that Matt Jennings, our Strength Coach, pitched to us to start walking back to the hotel after morning shootarounds on game days where we were on the road.  (Remind me to tell sometime about the laughs we would all share if someone ever called him the Weight Coach.  "Yep.  That's me.  Out here coaching weights!")

For those of you unfamiliar with college basketball, a shootaround is a practice of sorts the morning of the game to allow the guys to get shots up in the arena where we would be playing that night and have one final scouting report walk through to prepare for our opponent.  Typically the shootarounds were in the morning.  

So we started doing it.  Those walks, even though I struggle to remember the details (probably should have been blogging then to remember) provided opportunities to connect with locals, see local sights and also provided amazing chances for us as a group of GAs and staff to bond.  And all of that happened simply because we listened to Matt and just walked.  

Until I started walking like that I didn't know how much of a walker I was.  I mean, I really love to walk.  I love to walk cities.  I love to walk neighborhoods.  I love to walk on a treadmill.  My favorite, though, is to walk cities and neighborhoods that I don't know discovering nooks and crannies that I didn't know existed much like we experienced on our Matt Walks™️.

In recent months I've had morning walks in Charleston, Phoenix and now this morning in Madrid.  The best morning walk is the one I don't plan on taking.  That's what happened this morning.  

After a long night flight where, of course, I didn't sleep, and a full day of 35,000+ steps around Madrid (yes, you read that correctly), I slept for 11 hours and woke up dazed and confused and with a couple of hours to burn before hopping the train that I am now on to Seville.  

So I got out for an impromptu walk.  I searched for breakfast first and got the best pincho tortilla (Spanish omelette) I have had yet, stopped by a local grocery (mercado) and went in a general store of sorts and also a thrift shop.  Yep.  Think "His House" in Columbia vibes.  No.  Not Goodwill.  His House Broad River.  Lo siento if you don't get the reflerence.  This is a true "if you know, you know" situation. 

I've discussed before on this blog, and in person, it's not the place that makes the experience for me.  It's the people.  And on my walk this morning it was the people that shaped the experience for me, not the places.  

I have been incredibly fortunate to live the life and have the experiences I have had up to this point.  And in my travels I have discovered that most foreign cities have streets, they have shops, they have tourist things to do and see, and they have restaurants.  And I am not saying they are all the same.  They're not.  But at some point, a foreign city or town is just that.  Foreign.  It has places that I am not used to seeing.  And it was in those places this morning that my experience of Madrid was truly shaped through the people I encountered along with the beliefs about me that I carry. 

My first stop was a restaurant.  I wasn't sure they were open because no one was eating in there.  So I went to the counter and reached deep into my Rolodex of Spanish and asked the girl behind the counter, "¿abrir?"  attempting to ask if they were open.  

Nothing.  She just stared at me.  

I had a quick panic inside realizing that I was in a place wherein likely no English was being spoken.  

Then I quickly shifted into an attitude of "this is PERFECT."  I knew deep inside this was the type of place I was looking for.  See my post about playing guitar in that restaurant in Japan for a deeper explanation of what I mean.  

I ordered my pincho tortilla and cortado (Spanish coffee) and sat down.  I needed a fork, and not knowing the word for fork, I played a fun game of charades to get a fork from the girl behind the counter.  I must say, we made a pretty good team. 

I sat in this cafe and enjoyed the sights and sounds of a local cafe in Madrid.  Locals came in and out getting their coffees, speaking to the workers, and just living life.  Spanish music, heavy on the salsa, played in the background. 

It was heavenly. 

As it came time for me to leave, I Google Translated (yes it's a verb) how to say:

"What do I owe?"

"Breakfast was very good."

The girl lit up, as most foreigners do, when I made my attempt to say these phrases in her native language.  I said goodbye and was off to my next stop.  

As I made it back to the street I realized then that I had stumbled into an impromptu morning walk and I was in a part of town where locals were.  I love being a tourist, but I really love to see what local life is about when I travel. 

Next stop was the mercado where, when I first entered, I smiled that one of the workers from the restaurant I just visited was buying a bag full of tomatoes.  It was a small store but had just about everything one would ever need to live.  

What made this experience so rich?  The cashier.  When she realized that I didn't speak Spanish, her face lit up.  She was so kind in playing her own game of charades showing me what I owed and asking me if I needed a bag.  

(By the way I just passed Ciudad Real Central Airport.  It apparently is an airport that opened in 2009 and went bankrupt 3 years later and features a 13,000 foot runway.  That's long.  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciudad_Real_International_Airport)

If you know me and/or read this blog you'll know that one of my core misbeliefs is that I don't belong.  I don't mention that for you to say, "Awwww but you do belong Brian."  

I also know that I belong.  And yet, sometimes I forget.  I actively generate the belief that I do belong and remind myself of it often.  But.  If I'm not careful, the belief that I don't belong (coupled with the belief that I'm not good enough) will push me around and I will find in the world what I am generating myself meaning that I will find that I don't belong and that I'm not good enough.  Interesting how that works, isn't it?

I say all of that to say:  being in a foreign country, not speaking the language and coupled with being tired from travel and not actively generating beliefs of belonging and being good enough can cause me to start to spiral into a rough spot.  I was beginning to climb into my head and spiral last night and a little this morning.  This is what I do when I start to BELIEVE that I don't belong and BELIEVE that I am not good enough.  Thankfully this morning I reminded myself of simple truths:

I am loved 

I belong

I don't have to do anything to earn love 

I am good enough

I am loved unconditionally

It was because I generated and carried those beliefs that I was able to accept the love and care that the people this morning gave me as well as accept the love and care from those I engaged with yesterday during a really fun Free Walking Tour (thank you Walkative for making it easy to sign up). 

This is one of the main things I love about travel.  It's a Petri dish for me to work on the things I am working on all of the time.  Working on them in a foreign country gives me a different angle to work on them.  It really feels like I'm lifting weights, struggling with generating these beliefs and deepening my knowing of the beliefs I'm working to generate. 

It is really easy for me to walk into a place here and feel like I don't belong.  Let's face it.  I don't speak the language, I look like I'm not from here and I'm an American.  I mention the last part because a vendor I visited last night seemed to have said something derogatory about me as an "Americano."  But that's going to happen.  It happens in my life back home.  I'm not going to make everyone happy.  Nor is it my responsibility to do so.  

It was a fascinating morning and thanks to Matt and our morning walk crew for teaching me the power of a morning walk in an area I don't know, and for teaching me the value of having an open mind while on these walks.  

It's one of my favorite things about me:  my ability to show up.  Be open. Be curious.  Be loving. 

My experience of life is so much richer when I show up like that. 

On to Seville I go.  

I wonder what magic I will encounter there. 

This picture was taken on my morning walk near my hostel, Siesta and Go. I recommend this hostel as a quiet and clean place to recharge.  

I love this picture for several reasons.  Some which I may discuss later.  

Carlos

I've set an intention for this trip. And, no. I'm not ready to share it publicly yet. Lo siento. 

I'll tell you more about it later. 

Just now I landed in Madrid. Well, me and 300 of my closest friends. Sitting next to me the entire flight was Carlos. And as often happens, we didn't start a conversation until we landed. 

Carlos is a kind and gentle Spaniard. He realllllly wanted me to know the Spanish word for beer. 
I told him my plans for this trip and he said they are perfect. 

Positive connection with a local #1 is in the books. 

Looking forward to more.

He’s Cool, Trust Me

Picture this. 

I'm in a restaurant with some of my buddies watching the Final Four games. I get up, walk to the bathroom. 

On my way I pass a waitress telling our waiter, Colton, "Ok, I'm going to go grab some coffee. Do you want some?"

I immediately piped up, "Yes." 

She looked at me funny. 

I laughed as I kept on walking to the bathroom. And Colton came to my rescue: "He's cool. Trust me."

Let me be really honest. I've felt stuck for the past few months. Locked up. Afraid. You know, just stuck. 

Hearing Colton say those words really helped me smile and laugh at myself and remind myself of the playfulness that I can embody when I choose to. Lately, I've leaned into more seriousness. I'm just stating that as a fact.  I want to be more playful.  More fun. More honest. 

It hasn't all been serious, but I've just felt locked up. 

This weekend was a help for me getting unlocked too. 

I was at The Final Four. An event that I have enjoyed since my first trip in 2002. I was with old friends and even made a new one: a fascinating coach from Greece. So, yes. There was plenty to talk about. 

Good food. Good times. Good learning in sessions. And good walks. 

Short post. On the plane back from DFW. Ready to be home.

Put It On the Travel Blog, Coach

Ok, Coach. I'm finally doing it. I'm putting it on the travel blog. 

One of my favorite things is to view shooting stars. Meteors. My favorite place to do that is on a beach at or near Litchfield, SC. There is something about the light there that produces brilliant streaks of white light when a meteor passes. 

I love just staring at the sky, anticipating, waiting to see one. And then. THERE'S ONE! There has to be another one soon right? And maybe there will be. Maybe there won't be. 

Lots of times it feels like there is a realllllly faint meteor that can be seen. I am never sure that it is or isn't though. 

Why do I bring that up while I'm flying back from Newark, NJ? Great question. And no, I'm not flying. I'm riding. Or as Pete Holmes would say, "sitting still in the sky."

I bring it up because it is my belief that lessons are coming to me all the time. They are flying by like meteors. Sometimes I see them. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes they are really bright. Sometimes they are really faint. 

For some reason it seems like I see more lessons (meteors) when I travel. When I'm out of my routine. 

I saw some yucky things about myself on this trip.
Avid readers of this blog (of which there are a countless few) know that one of my main core misbeliefs is that I'm not good enough. And all of the yucky things I saw in myself during this trip are tied to that belief. 

Frankly, I saw my unhealthy dependency on others. But deeper than that, I saw an unhealthy dependency on what others think of me. I have had the great fortune the past week to hear things directly from friends and people professionally that were hard for me to hear. 

My feelings were hurt. There were clear statements about me, what I did and how they felt about me and guess what? They weren't happy with me. 

I fight so, so hard to have everyone happy with me. It's a learned behavior. And guess what? People aren't always happy with me. The anxiety, and tension as a friend said this morning, is almost unbearable for me to experience if someone isn't pleased with me. 

But it is bearable. Life continues to move forward. I'm still alive. Someone being upset with me didn't kill me. 

But like it said, my "Not Good Enough" is involved. He doesn't like it. For now, I'm going to call that part of me NGE Brian. NGE Brian needs everyone happy. Needs everyone to love him. To tell him he's being a good little boy. That keeps him going. 

I told a friend of mine this morning that I still believe that all of this yuckiness comes back to how I feel about me. 

When I believe:
-That I'm not good enough
-That only I can do things
-They I can't ask for help
-That I'm broken

….then this is where I end up. And I know better than to live life this way. And yet, oftentimes I find myself in this same spot: Empty. Tired. Lonely. Hurting. 

I suppose that I'm simply just seeing a shooting star. A meteor. A lesson. 

Ultimately, I am thankful for travel. I'm thankful for the experiences from this trip. I'm thankful for the friends, old and new, that I got to connect with while here. 

And my hope is that I can stand in awe and wonder of this lesson like I stand in awe and wonder of the shooting stars at Litchfield. And my hope is that I can hold myself with love, compassion, and acceptance as I walk through it.

I'm finding that love, compassion and acceptance is one of the most difficult and challenging things to give myself. And it's needed for the freedom that I seek.

You Are Welcome

This is a different kind of post. 

Posting, by the way, I've learned a lot about recently. But I digress. 

Normally when I'm traveling I'm writing about what I experience for my memory, and with my last few trips, I have dipped my toes into the waters of vulnerability to share what I learn about myself when I travel. Sharing publicly about the misbeliefs I carry about myself, others and the world has been really helpful. If you're interested in some of those posts, I would direct you to this post from my travels to Japan about hiding, this one from Europalooza about intentions, and this one from Cuba. There are others, but hopefully you find those helpful.  

Delta Airlines CEO Ed Bastian and his marketing team seem to be really dialed in these days. In a post from a few years back I talked about how his preflight video message of how travel challenges beliefs, and that travel is the ultimate teacher really struck a chord with me. The preflight video on this summer's trip speaks about breaking out of a rut with travel and seeing the colors of the world through travel. I love this so much. 

This summer I traveled, like REALLY traveled, for the first time since 2019. Now, let me be honest. I don't think I have been in too much of a rut (maybe a tiny one in some areas of my life). In the past four years I have done some really cool things (look up Pilot's License in the Dictionary and there I will be). 

But, let me be clear:  This trip was needed.

Now, let me circle back to my opening preface for a moment. I'm not going to talk about the things that I did, the places I saw, how long I was gone, the people I met, the food I ate, nor anything else logistically-related to this trip. 

I took a trip. The trip was needed. And I learned. 

Holy crap did I learn.

I learned from those I traveled with. Those I met along the way. I learned from myself. I learned about others.

 

I learned about myself. 

There is nothing like travel, being in a different part of the world, being around different people, a different culture, to allow me to look at myself in a fresh light. I suspect I "fall asleep" to myself when I'm back home, in a way. When I'm in my routine. And that makes it harder to see the lessons that are presenting themselves. 

Without the structure of my house, my work, my routines and other, I've been able to take a different look at some misbeliefs I have about myself and the world.  The main themes are still the same for me:

• I don't have to prove I'm worthy.  I'm worthy of love as I am.  There's nothing for me to DO to earn love.  I'm accepted just as I am, wants and all. 

• What I want IS important.  I can state those wants. And I can have what I want.  I deserve to have what I want.

• I belong.  I don't have to make myself an outcast for any reason at all.  And trust me.  I can find the reasons if I look. 

• I don't have to be perfect. 

• I can ask for help. I don't have to do everything by myself. Asking for help can actually bring others joy. 

• Conflict and friction are triggers.  Do I want to show up as me and realize that people may not like all of me?  Or do I want to be a chameleon and morph into who I think others want me to be.  I've done the latter a lot.  Maybe it's time for me to practice stepping out more and saying what I think, feel, want and need.  And then work out any differences that come up.  

Whew there is a lot there. 

Now, I'd like to pivot slightly and discuss three words in the rest of this post.  And those three words form a phrase that a lot of us say. I know I've said it and I haven't given too much thought as to why I say it. 

Normally when someone says "Thank you" it is reciprocated with "You are welcome." Right? Sounds familiar. You've said it. I've said it. We've all heard it. But, why is it "You are welcome?" I mean really. 

The internet is littered with different theories about the origins of "you are welcome." And let me tell you, the 24 seconds of research I just did was exhausting. So I'm not going to discuss those theories here.

I'm simply going to talk about those three words that were spoken to me as I entered the Air India Lounge at JFK. 

I scanned in with my Priority Pass (Get it. Don't wait. Just get it. You'll thank me. And yes, you are welcome), walked into the lounge, surveyed the area to get a lay of the land, and a small, presumably Indian man said, "Hello sir. You are welcome."

I was stunned. 

I looked in his eyes, and found that he really meant it. I mean, he really meant it. 

You are welcome.

He then helped me find a seat in the crowded lounge, and for the past 20 minutes or so I have watched him walk around, painstakingly doing his job of taking care of customers and now he is locked in a conversation with a traveler.

You are welcome. 

The danger of writing is that you can't really HEAR how he said it, and how I HEARD it. So let me try to explain it.

He said: YOU are welcome.

That's not quite it. It was more like you ARE welcome.

Almost. I think it was more like: You. Are. Welcome.

Or maybe it was a combination of all of the above. 

Here's the thing. I felt seen. I felt loved. I felt accepted. I felt like I could be me. 

Now, listen, those are things I'm working on generating myself. However, while traveling, things can be a little hectic. 

I haven't slept much the last 24 hours. I've been navigating airports. I've been crammed into airplane seats between people I don't know. I've gone through US Customs. And so to walk into yet another unfamiliar place and here "You. Are. Welcome." Wow. It was incredibly powerful. It's blown open some more space to be more kind and loving to myself. More kind and loving to others. It's just what I needed. 

There were several times on this trip that I put myself in the "I'm not welcome" circle. No one did that to me. I did that to myself. I generated that. Thankfully I have enough awareness these days to catch myself doing that to me fairly quickly. And when I'm really spiraling I have kind, loving and honest people I can call to help point out some truth that I need to hear. Thank you to L, C, R and D for being there for me. You modeled "You. Are. Welcome." for me. 

This is the thing I want to bring back from this trip. A deeper level of WELCOME for myself as well as a deeper level of WELCOME of other people. There is not much room for judgment, separation and isolation when "You. Are. Welcome." is present. Possibly there is no room for judgment at all. There is love. Connection. Fun. Acceptance. All of the things I've been longing for and I suspect that we are all longing for. 

I feel it right now. I am welcome. I am welcome here. I'm writing in an Air Indian Lounge. And I'm welcome. I am loved. I don't have to DO anything. I don't have to LOOK a certain way. I don't have to BE anyone that I'm not.

I. Am. Welcome. 

I wonder what issues in the world would be resolved if we all generated, first, welcome for ourselves and then welcome for everyone we come into contact with.

I want others to experience this feeling.